These are truly strange times. As of this writing, I have barely seen anyone other than my live-in partner for about seven months. When I had to go in for a physical exam, labs, and a flu shot at my primary care physician’s office (because I was many months overdue and they refused to refill my migraine meds until I came in and proved to them I was still alive), » Read more
I’m a recovering perfectionist. Like many other areas, I don’t think I will ever be fully recovered. It will always be a process of recovering. It’ll never be perfect, recovery. And that’s part of it, too.
Does this mean I’m a total hot mess? No, not at all. That kind of all or nothing thinking is what led me to perfectionism in the first place. » Read more
I made a deal with my parents when I was a teenager. If I got confirmed Catholic, I could stop attending mass. I hear a lot of other kids who were raised Catholic were offered the same deal.
Confirmation is a ritual that normally happens in the teenage years (around 14 or so). » Read more
Like a lot of other people, I’ve been having a rough spring and summer. There’s the pandemic of course, making an inescapable impact across America.
But I had a big personal challenge in late April when my father passed away. Grieving is never easy, and I’ve found that it’s doubly difficult during the pandemic, » Read more
A few days ago, I posted about my elderly cat, who recently fell ill. After a round of lab work, he was newly diagnosed with diabetes and admitted to the animal hospital.
It wasn’t easy to do, driving away, leaving him behind. Just like any time that I have to get him seen, » Read more
There is a monster sitting on my chest.
No one else can see him.
But I know he’s there. I can feel him sitting there. He’s comfortable where he is. He’s happiest when I’m unhappy. Most comfortable when I’m uncomfortable.
He comes and goes as he pleases. Sometimes, though, » Read more
It doesn’t happen very often, but every once in a great while, I fall so deeply in love with someone or something that I don’t care if it loves me back.
It happened with you, you know. I was convinced that you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve someone like you. » Read more
I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.
Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up. » Read more
Have you ever sat up all night and worried about someone?
I sure have. Especially if I knew they were doing something particularly risky or dangerous, like driving a long distance when the weather was bad.
In one instance, a loved one was several hours late arriving home, and I couldn’t get a hold of them by phone (not normal at all for them). » Read more
Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.
I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections. » Read more