Is It Really Impossible… Or Is It Learned Helplessness?

a depressed looking rhino behind cage bars
Image by Rob Oo / CC BY

These days, Martin Seligman is doing pretty uplifting work. A past president of the American Psychological Association, Seligman is often known as the father of positive psychology, a newer subspecialty that focuses on the positive aspects of human behavior: Striving, thriving, flourishing.

But his big break into psychological research wasn’t so rosy.

In his earliest days as a researcher,  » Read more

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Polymathy Confuses People Just As Much As, If Not More Than, Polyamory

Leonardo da Vinci's self-portrait
Image by MAMJODH / CC BY

I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic

I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved.  » Read more

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Is It More Ethical to Hide a Metamour’s Insecurity From Your Partner? Or More Ethical to Tell Them?

a statue of Janus, a bearded man with two faces, one facing forward and one looking back
Image by DaveBleasdale / CC BY

Fall 2010

One night, my boyfriend Rob called me on the phone after his wife Michelle left for the library. It was a low-key conversation. Just chitchat, really. We weren’t even having phone sex or anything. At least not yet, although in recent weeks, we’d fallen into a habit of sliding into phone sex after initial introductions.  » Read more

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Getting Up Before Martin Does: Circadian Rhythm as Anxiety Killer

pine marten, brain weasel
Image by Steve Slocomb / CC BY

If you’re anything like me, you run into times where you struggle with self-doubt. Especially when solving problems with ambiguous solutions. Or doing something creative.

And when you’re struggling, you’ll catch yourself midsentence saying something like, “No, no, that’s not right. That’s stupid.”

Redlining your own work over and over again for hours with little to show for your effort.  » Read more

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