Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.
I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections. » Read more
“I love your new book,” she said.
“Thanks,” I replied. “I don’t usually like what I write, but I’m proud of that one. I’m happy with how it turned out.”
“I’m glad someone said it,” she said. “Loud and clear.”
“That metamour relationships can be difficult sometimes. » Read more
It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)
While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no, » Read more
I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?
Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time. » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today:
Sometimes Challenging the Relationship Escalator Means Starting at the Tenth Floor
We had been talking on and off for months but it was about to come to a head. » Read more
Without fail, whenever one of my essays is shared enough, folks will start commenting on it in a very familiar way:
- “This isn’t unique to polyamory.”
- “This doesn’t just apply to polyamorous people.”
This happens even with essays that aren’t specifically about polyamory, ones in which I’m just talking about relationships in general. » Read more
There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).
They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage. » Read more
“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”
She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says. » Read more
While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it. » Read more
Is it okay to babysit your metamour’s kids?
It’s a Thursday night in 2009. My metamour has a date with my partner, but her husband gets called in to work.
“Well, that sucks,” my partner says. “I haven’t seen her for a while.”
And it’s true. » Read more