The Paternalization of Marriage: “You Need to Make Your Husband Do X,” “Get Your Wife to Do Y”

a wedding cake topper of a bride dragging a groom away by the leg
Image by nola.agent / CC BY

Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of people who will judge you based on what your partner does — or doesn’t do.

I noticed this when I first got married.  I’d fallen in love with my husband for a number of reasons. An unflappable sense of confidence, a warm sense of humor, a kind of charm that’s difficult for me even now to explain.  » Read more

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PQ 18.8 — Can I build a relationship that respects the agency not only of each of us, but of others who are involved as well?

a photograph of Arcadian County Park in Los Angeles County, California. The photo features a grassy area with picnic tables and trees that are casting long dark shadows.
Image by Brian / CC BY

PQ 18.8 — Can I build a relationship that respects the agency not only of each of us, but of others who are involved as well?

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“You know, it’s funny,” I say to Justin as we’re out taking a walk together. “Sometimes I’ll get asked questions about you when I do interviews.  » Read more

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PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?

a photo with a person who is wearing glasses with their arm around a statue of Dobby the house elf
Image by Weltbild Verlag GmbH / CC BY

PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?

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I take a deep breath and type the following:

So I’m in a weird situation and wanted to keep you in the loop.   » Read more

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