I’ve Had My Own Advice Used Against Me… and That’s a Good Thing

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“Are you sure about that?” my partner says. “Because I think you’re biased here.”

“Well,” I say in response, my voice dripping with equal parts defensiveness and smugness, “I may be┬ábiased. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

“You know,” my partner says, “that reminds me of something a relationship writer once wrote.”  » Read more

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A Lot of Behavior Generally Pleases Reasonable People But Only Manages Difficult People

a typewritten page close up where someone has typed "UNGRATEFUL"
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It is always happening whenever I talk to my mother.

She’ll say something petty and ungrateful. Someone will have done something nice for her. Something that was clearly well intended. Came from a good place. But because the gesture wasn’t perfect, wasn’t what she would have envisioned in the best of all possible worlds,  » Read more

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That Moment When You Realize You’ve Grown Apart From Someone

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“I am so upset with them,” I say, confiding in a friend.

“What did they do this time?” my friend asks. Because this is far from their first rodeo as far as this long-term friend of mine is concerned. Where once upon a time, we were truly close, there have been a series of unbelievably disappointing occurrences over the past several years.  » Read more

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Why It’s Hard to Get Advice When You’re Looking for Validation

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After a protracted period of soul searching and agonizing, I decided to share my feelings with him. I thought about how to phrase it. And then I went for it.

And in response he offered, “For one, you feel like that with me, too, and still isn’t true there. For two, not much I could help with except to say that most people like that you’re a bit pushy with your feelings.  » Read more

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