“You have to be careful about what you fix….If you irrigate a desert, you might empty a sea. It’s a complicated business, fixing things.”
-Percival Everett, “The Fix”
I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. It’s easy to get comfortable when nothing changes for a while. » Read more
Here’s a brutal truth: When you commit to a relationship, you’re also committing to unsolvable problems.
If only I’d known this a long time ago, I could have saved myself so much pain and confusion.
I know, I know. It’s not what anyone thinks of when they’re single and dreaming of having a relationship. » Read more
Whenever I write slice of life pieces, I’ll frequently get a certain kind of reader feedback. This is particularly the case when I write about a small problem affecting me or those around me.
“This feels unfinished.” “Where’s the rest of it?”
And occasionally: “I was expecting some advice.”
It’s funny. » Read more
It’s funny the things we tend to romanticize. A lot of folks romanticize danger. Living on the edge. The thrill of hunting something precarious. Finding someone who’s hard to get. Hard to keep.
There’s a rush in the conquest, they want us to believe.
And for a long while, I thought that was where it was at. » Read more
When you’re young, they dismiss you because you don’t have enough experience.
What do you know? they say. You haven’t been through anything. You have to live to learn. To do to know.
You can’t just spring out of the womb wise. Fully formed like Athena was when she was born from Zeus’s head. » Read more
I recently stumbled across a piece by Heina Dadabhoy called “Polyamory: What No One Warned Me About.” As Dadabhoy writes:
Polyamory makes it worse in that the usual rationalizations for getting dumped don’t work when you were poly with the person and they remain poly after the break-up.
“They left me so they could date someone prettier/smarter/easier/better than me”? » Read more