If You’re Trying to Spot an Abuser, Look for Someone Who’s Emotionally Immature

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In spite of the fact that we haven’t seen each other in years, I still think about my therapist Sue every now and then.

On the surface, we shouldn’t have worked well together therapeutically. Because we didn’t have much in common. She was a mild-mannered person with Biblical verse plaques sprinkled on the walls of her office.  » Read more

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PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle?

two black lab dogs playing tug of war with a yellow disk on a sandy beach
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PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle?

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There’s a certain kind of story I grew up believing: No sacrifice was too great for love. In fact, my own personal picture of love required a large sacrifice.  » Read more

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A World Where People Don’t Say What They Mean

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Image by _ Kripptic / CC BY

It had been a long emotional night. Yet another fight with Seth.

It wasn’t just that we were arguing again. No, it was worse than a repeat. The negativity had gone to a whole new level.

“I used to love you before you became such a bitch,” he said.

I’ve Learned You Don’t Argue with Someone Who Is Insulting You

I learned a long time ago that you don’t argue with someone who is insulting you.  » Read more

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No Monsters, No Saints: Abusers Can Be Kind, the Abused Can Be Abusive

a mural of a lawyer being eaten by a shark being eaten by a mosasaur being eaten by a giant squid being eaten by a large pirranha being eaten by a demon
Image by Eden, Janine and Jim / CC BY

I spent a couple of years seriously studying medical terminology, preparing to work as a medical transcriptionist. Anatomy & Physiology. Pharmacology. A multi-semester course on Disease Processes.

I noticed quickly that some of the students were troubled about what we were learning about the myriad ways that the human body can break down.  » Read more

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