Attack of the Killer Cleavage

Camis (camisoles) are typically pretty handy for cleavage concealment (crucial in most office settings), and while I admit that they do help mitigate the effect, I find that I will often have residual cleavage peeking out from beneath the cami. It would appear that even my cleavage has cleavage – like some demented recursive Escher funhouse of boobs.  » Read more

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Feeling Damn Good

At the gas station, I successfully troubleshot a frozen fuel door release by sawing around the fuel door with my key McGyver style, popping that sucker the heck open, all while rocking stilettos in 0-degree weather. Twelve-year-old me would be terribly impressed.  » Read more

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Today, in Miserable Inventions

I hate ringback tones with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.

I mean, c’mon, do I REALLY need hold music for the part where the call is RINGING? FFS.

Who woke up one morning and thought ringtones + hold music = win? They’re probably rich now, but I hate them.  » Read more

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Not So Fast

I feel heroic when I fast. Maybe it brings out the hunter/gatherer in me. Maybe it’s the challenge. I’m sure part of it is subversive. I like showing food whose boss – and proving to myself I don’t need it every day, all day. Asserting my independence, if you will. Fasting it toughest at work.  » Read more

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Flossing

<The yin and yang of adulthood violently collided this morning as I flossed with a terrible hangover.

<It had been a fantastic evening – at least what I could remember of it. A disconcerting number of fragments were missing like a mirror that had slipped from its mounting and unceremoniously crashed to the floor.  » Read more

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Old is New Again

When I was in grade school, I was friends with a group of the shyest girls at school. My best friend was the soft-spoken daughter of two zoology professors, and when she got headgear, the bullies descended on her with a fury. Looking back, I’m amazed that my reaction as an 8-year-old was to attack the bullies relentlessly,  » Read more

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Mona Lisa

It’s fun to puzzle people. I take this as a sign of progress. I used to feel ashamed when people would point out that things I was doing were different, even if they said it in a relatively nice way (“you’re really interesting,” “I never know what you’re going to say next,” etc), but nowadays it’s amusing.  » Read more

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