The Question of Promiscuity, OR Ain’t Gonna Shame Ya

The stigma of having multiple partners is ubiquitous. It’s especially obvious in “normal” society with the standard tradition of monogamy or at least serial monogamy where people are expected to have only one sexual partner in any given time span. Sex positivity has been in my life (as I’m sure it has been in many others) a constant struggle to connect with and accept my own sexuality,  » Read more

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Humiliation

9 years old

Though I am running a fever, I go to a dear friend’s sleepover at her insistence. The conversation turns to my developing body. I am the only girl in the fourth grade wearing a bra. The other girls pressure me, mock me, calling me names, chiding me for my boob fat,  » Read more

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Poly With a Penis

Polyamory. It’s a woman’s world.

Don’t look at me like that. 😛 I’m not hating on men! I have character witnesses that will testify that I (enthusiastically) love me some men – despite the strange looks I’ve gotten from some of my friends.

That’s the problem, really. The curious double standard.  » Read more

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It came from the playground…?

We were all children at one point.

The last few days, I’ve been considering the idea that D/s mimics a lot of social interplay in childhood before we are properly “socialized.” Without getting into gory and depressing details, sexual humiliation is a central part of my psyche and formative sexual experiences simply from having been the first girl in my class to develop and having a strict French Canadian Catholic upbringing.  » Read more

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Body Acceptance

It’s been a crazy couple of years socially speaking. A year and a half ago, my husband and I opened our marriage. A few months before we came to that decision, I was the heaviest I’d been in my whole life. It was riddled with intense pain so crippling that I couldn’t walk across a room without wincing,  » Read more

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“Useful”

Why do I crave what many others would consider abuse?

Is it for the pain?

The freedom from my own identity that comes from reflexive self-subversion?

Is it for the attention?

Is it to be useful?

Useful. That word resonates with me.

I,  » Read more

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Out

I came out about my sexual orientation to my mother today.

It started when we were talking about one of my friends from college. “You knew she was gay, right?” I said.

Mom said, “I think so. I barely remember her.”

“You know, Mom,” I continued. “I have A LOT of gay friends.”  » Read more

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Losing Control

Having safe sex with women can be pretty tricky. Oh, the condom! Why must you be so inapplicable to my efforts to sex up the ladies? Or one lady in particular. Don’t get me wrong; I am well aware of the dental dam, but still I worry. It seems patently unfair to have been born with both a penchant for oral sex and a germaphobia that borders on neurosis.  » Read more

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afternoon nap

I took a short nap this afternoon during a break from work and had a dream that I was playing the piano, a piece in a minor key with lots of arpeggios and heavy on the pedal. Some of the notes were not sounding. It occurred to me as I played that they were being randomly censored.  » Read more

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