Today I finish week 2 of Awesome Job, and as far as all that goes, I really couldn’t ask for things to go any better. I’m learning quickly, already kicking butt, and my personality is perfect for this particular office.
I am, however, struggling to stay in the present moment. I have a bit of a commute. » Read more
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve updated. That’s because I spent the last month (i.e., the time between graduation and now) job hunting. It’s odd because even an intense job hunt really only eats up about 4 hours a day maximum, but the process was quite draining, and I found it really difficult to be creative while managing the logistics, » Read more
Learning that the term “crapshoot” was derived from a roll of the dice in a casino game and not simply an alternate name for the rectum (i.e., the “poop chute”) used idiomatically to denote unpredictability was inordinately disappointing in such a way that it’s been about 20 years since I realized this, and I still remember it vividly. » Read more
Note to self: Stop taking gardening tips from Harvest Moon. Digital plants and leafy ones are, in fact, different.
For example, in HM you must water your plants every day that it’s not actively raining. In real life, you can apparently let them chill for a few days after a big rain storm. » Read more
I graduated this weekend. The ceremony was long, sweaty, and boring — but at the same time vital, I think, to understanding that a milestone had been reached, that something important had in fact happened.
I’d been so focused on getting into a PhD program that it hadn’t occurred to me until recently that what I was doing at school every day mattered and would amount to something, » Read more
While I’m walking around downtown, a (female) police officer comes up to me and says, “You look nice. You have a nice face. Very nice looking.” I thank her (because I don’t know what else to say) and she walks off. Random though oddly flattering. » Read more
I appear confident, but under the surface I’m afraid.
Disappointment is a persistent low-grade stinging in my chest, churning slowly, like a fist clenching in a space where it doesn’t quite fit.
I fear I always screw things up with him. I never say the right things. How is it that I’ve worked all these years to be pleasing to men, » Read more
But only if they’re good at math. Or writing. Or some other intellectual pursuit.
There are plenty of so-called geeks without any specific talent who are lacking in social skills and/or obsessed with something in particular that leads to encyclopedic knowledge.
You want a smart one. » Read more
I have a confession: I’m a chronic apologizer.
I first became aware that it was a problem when I was a freshman in high school. A senior, one of the trombonists in the jazz ensemble I was playing in, was driving me around in her car, and I reflexively apologized for something small, » Read more
“I mostly feel terrible about not getting into grad school because it was the justification for my not working while I went to school, that I was going to work really hard so I could get accepted somewhere,” I told Spook as we drove home from Chicago.
“That wasn’t it at all,” Spook said. » Read more