Gourmet Sex

“I don’t get it,” she said. “Why do all that? Sex, just good plain normal sex is wonderful. Why would anyone need to do all that weird stuff?”

My friend M was of course talking about kink. M was an academically brilliant young girl, a devout follower of the Baha’i faith. Even disregarding the fact that she’d pledged her chastity for spiritual reasons and had barely shared a kiss with the member of the opposite sex (or the same one,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Abuse

I was in a relationship for many years where whenever I asked for any assistance, albeit with finances, chores, or emotional support, I was told that I was abusive and a burden and responsible for causing his depression by “being such a bitch.”

I was told that even bringing up the topic of sex or attempting seduction more than once or twice a week was sexual coercion and attempted rape and that I was guilty of repeated habitual sexual assault by baring my breasts unprompted or touching him without invitation to do so –  » Read more

Continue Reading

Rotten Denmark

There was a story a friend of mine used to tell. When he was in school, his teacher had called the class to attention and said, “There’s something you all should know. One of you has a very unpleasant odor. Please make sure you are washing with soap regularly.” Someone in the class predictably asked who the teacher was talking about.  » Read more

Continue Reading

this sub’s life

J: Pageling, I have something for you.
Me: (through the door) I’m naked.
J: It’s fine. I’m naked, too.
Me: Okay. (opens door)

I love my life.

*

“I couldn’t do 24/7. It’d just be too much.”

“Sadomasochism makes sense, but I can’t really get into Domination and submission.  » Read more

Continue Reading

my diet/cooking blog

So I’ve had a relatively inactive diet and cooking blog for a while that I’ve started using a lot more recently to track some of our better culinary experiments. I’ve added it to my “bio” page here and thought I’d share the link with y’all should you want to take a looksie.

Stalk My Food

*

P.S.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Bad Poly: A Case Study

video game screen with green text that reds "Game Over. Continue?" with options of "Yes" or "No" - "Yes" is currently selected.

How does a person who is polyamorous in spirit end up not seeking other partners for a great length of time, essentially becoming monogamous in practice?

To put it mildly, I was party to some truly bad poly. And despite whose “fault” you think the whole thing was when the dust settled (I personally believe we all fucked up to varying degrees),  » Read more

Continue Reading

The Move

Me: Sometimes I feel like I’m way out on a branch, and I feel the wind blow, and at any moment the branch could break, and I’d fall.

Skyspook: Or fly.

*

“What brought you to Ohio?”

The honest answers always sound crazy. Desperation, loneliness, a sense of impending doom,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Sanctuary

The DSM-IV defines a mental disorder as “a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual [which] is associated with present distress…or disability…or with a significant increased risk of suffering.”

In short, your idiosyncrasies, your proclivities, your deviance must cause a problem to be a problem.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Silver and Gold

I lost my belief in so many beautiful traditions long ago.

 

I raised myself on movies of the week and Hallmark moments. As my parents rarely commented on life’s “bigger issues” or even had many conversations beyond “I like what you’ve done with the meatloaf” with each other in front of us,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Gaslighting

Gaslighting: A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent.

Here is an excellent article on gaslighting that details how insidious and innocent-seeming these manipulations can seem,  » Read more

Continue Reading