a brick wall that has "JANKY" painted on it

Photo by Daquella Manera / CC BY


(adjective) inferior quality; held in low social regard; old and dilapidated; refers almost exclusively to inanimate material objects, not to people


The inaugural month of our return to poly life has come and gone.  » Read more

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The Wine Pledge

glass of red wine
Image by Gonmi / CC BY

In vino motherfucking veritas.

Reopening my relationship with Skyspook has brought up a lot of emotions, many of them good, some of them bad, on both sides. However, even the bad has been largely productive — like sweeping under area rugs that haven’t been lifted for a while, cleaning up old trauma, childhood messes,  » Read more

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There is Debris in the Road

There is debris in the road.

The last few weeks have been eventful. I had my first meetups with matches from OkCupid and have started dating someone, a boy a decent bit younger than me who is also far more into submission than the men I normally date. To say it’s been interesting would be a profound understatement.  » Read more

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The Crocs of Sex

I want to negotiate, Seth writes, but I don’t even know where to start. 

A hot girl wants to top him, he adds, one from our old poly/swing circle back in Maine. I know her but not well.

Talk about your fantasies. Talk about what you’d like to get out of the arrangement.  » Read more

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Q: I don’t dig ultimatums, but what would you generally advise to a person that is monogamous, but has a partner that is not satisfying their sexual needs?

A:  The following all presumes that the relationship is pretty good to begin with. This is a big assumption — many relationships are shitty.

It’s pretty simple –  » Read more

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Brad and Janet

Brad and Janet from the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Meet Brad and Janet, two young virgins in love. The very epitome of wholesomeness. Not one stray hair out of place.

They mean well, they really do. They’ve colored within the lines all of their lives, gone through the recommended motions, and one night, their car breaks down, and they find themselves surrounded by perverts.  » Read more

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May the Force Never Be With You

Establishing a relationship is like being promoted at work. Common wisdom is that a lot of times when a promotion becomes “official,” you’ve been half-doing the job for a while anyway — it’s a done deal, and no one is surprised. You just get the title (and hopefully pay bump) that goes with it. It’s formalized.  » Read more

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