my diet/cooking blog

So I’ve had a relatively inactive diet and cooking blog for a while that I’ve started using a lot more recently to track some of our better culinary experiments. I’ve added it to my “bio” page here and thought I’d share the link with y’all should you want to take a looksie.

Stalk My Food

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P.S.  » Read more

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Bad Poly: A Case Study

video game screen with green text that reds "Game Over. Continue?" with options of "Yes" or "No" - "Yes" is currently selected.

How does a person who is polyamorous in spirit end up not seeking other partners for a great length of time, essentially becoming monogamous in practice?

To put it mildly, I was party to some truly bad poly. And despite whose “fault” you think the whole thing was when the dust settled (I personally believe we all fucked up to varying degrees),  » Read more

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The Move

Me: Sometimes I feel like I’m way out on a branch, and I feel the wind blow, and at any moment the branch could break, and I’d fall.

Skyspook: Or fly.

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“What brought you to Ohio?”

The honest answers always sound crazy. Desperation, loneliness, a sense of impending doom,  » Read more

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Sanctuary

The DSM-IV defines a mental disorder as “a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual [which] is associated with present distress…or disability…or with a significant increased risk of suffering.”

In short, your idiosyncrasies, your proclivities, your deviance must cause a problem to be a problem.  » Read more

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Silver and Gold

I lost my belief in so many beautiful traditions long ago.

 

I raised myself on movies of the week and Hallmark moments. As my parents rarely commented on life’s “bigger issues” or even had many conversations beyond “I like what you’ve done with the meatloaf” with each other in front of us,  » Read more

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Gaslighting

Gaslighting: A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent.

Here is an excellent article on gaslighting that details how insidious and innocent-seeming these manipulations can seem,  » Read more

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Choosing

You know it’s going to be an interesting meeting when the first item on the agenda is “Please fist me.”

Ok, I’ll rewind.

It started a week earlier when I’d confessed to Skyspook that I didn’t know how to help him, how to play my part in our relationship, build the D/s dynamic.  » Read more

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Poly Debriefing #3: Don’t Fight the Moonlight, an NRE Survival Guide

These days I’m polyamorous in spirit, monogamous in practice. It feels disingenuous to claim that I am one or the other completely. Even though my relationship is monogamous, meaning that we are sexually exclusive, I have learned so much from experiencing polyamorous relationships that I will never be the same person I was before.  » Read more

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Portion Control

“A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.”

Steve Prefontaine

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apophenia : the experience of seeing meaningful patterns or connections in random or meaningless data.  » Read more

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