It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)
While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no, » Read more
I’ve been meaning to finish this particular post for a while, but I’ve held off.
This is primarily because I try very hard to not reward behavior that I don’t want to see again. The reason for this is simple. It’s essentially the closest thing to a fundamental rule in psychology: What you reward, » Read more
I am a champion crier. For real.
I cry when I’m happy. Cry when I’m sad. When I’m tired.
In my own case, it feels like there’s an emotional thermometer inside of me, and when the mercury in it rises enough (for whatever reason) to overwhelm the system and break the glass — » Read more
As I’ve written before, research has shown that the most resilient people aren’t always positive. “Always” is the key term here. A generally positive outlook is helpful in responding well to life’s challenges; the important point is that while resilient people are generally optimistic they also acknowledge reality.
There’s no amount of positive thinking that’ll let you just gloss over the bad parts and have you rebounding easily from them in a meaningful way. » Read more
Any recommendations for songs with polyamory-friendly lyrics?
Oh man, oh man, have I ever been there. Listening to a romantic song and getting excited – only to get hit in the face with “and you’re my one and only forever and ever” » Read more
A while back, I received reader mail from parents sharing how much fun they have when their children play with toys they’d never had.
They said it squared the circle. They got to experience things they missed out in their childhood with their own children.
All the joy, all the fun. » Read more
As it happens, I was bopping around the Internet the other day, not exactly minding my own business but instead throwing open every door I came across and rifling through for treasures, a bit like a video game protagonist looking for stray gold coins in NPC closets. You know, what people used to call “surfing the web.” » Read more
My partner watches a lot of instructional videos. And frankly, a lot of restoration videos. Car and tool restoration. PC restoration.
It follows since he’s generally someone who fixes damaged items instead of throwing them away.
When I’m feeling cheeky, I like to joke that that’s what he did with me. » Read more
I’m a big reader. Have been ever since I learned how. I grew up reading primarily fiction. It was the same through my teens and into my mid 20s. Fiction and loads of it.
And then, somewhere along the line, I stopped reading fiction. If I had to guess when it happened, I can look back at my back-to-back experiences prepping for two separate careers (after the changing economy snatched one away): the first involved cramming medical terminology into my skull; » Read more
By now, practically everyone has heard of IKEA, thanks to their increasingly expanding set of stores as well as Jonathan Coulton’s excellent tribute song to them. (“Billy the bookcase says hello” by the way.) And anyone who has any firsthand experience with IKEA knows that while they offer timeless modernist style at scandalous prices, it also comes with a time commitment. » Read more