5 Imbalances Newly Polyamorous Couples Face and What to Do About Them

a 19th century sri lankan balance scale
Image by Ashley van Haeften / CC BY

When I opened up a relationship that had been monogamous for 8 years, I was prepared to feel jealous. But what I wasn’t prepared for? The radical shift in my thinking about that relationship and the imbalances that came to light with our increased autonomy.

Prior to discovering polyamory, when I had a more traditional marriage,  » Read more

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Best Practices for Negotiating Polyamorous Relationship Agreements

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Image by Phil Roeder / CC BY

Be Specific, Be Clear, Be Comprehensive

While I’ve had a number of polyamorous relationship agreements over the years, the best ones all had one thing in common: They were very specific, very clear, and comprehensive.

An agreement should meet everyone’s needs. In order to figure out what these are, make sure to devote adequate time for discussion.  » Read more

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PQ 6.2 — If I have a problem with someone’s behavior, do I discuss the problem with that person?

an illustration of a dog saying "whoop!" on one side of a pond and a person wearing a rad jacket and a black hat and black boots sitting on the other side of the lake (which is filled with orange fish) saying "Oh dear..."
Image by hills_alive / CC BY

PQ 6.2 — If I have a problem with someone’s behavior, do I discuss the problem with that person?

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“So Skyspook texted me. Says he has a migraine?” Michelle said. “Give me a break.”

“He really doesn’t feel well,” I told her.

“He was supposed to come over and work on your room.”  » Read more

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Ask Page: Dead Bedrooms, No Win-Win?

two separate beds with a lamp in the middle and paintings hanging on the wall
Image by Roberto Ferrito / CC BY

Page, in your post on conflict resolution styles you forgot one thing about Collaborating. In my opinion: There’s not always a win-win solution. Like. I don’t think in that situation it automatically becomes Compromising. It’s just a conflict that can’t be resolved in a collaborative way.

It’s one of those drawbacks no one wants to believe is real.  » Read more

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