Running Out of Side Quests on the Quest for Primary

the shadow of what appears to be a man holding a lightning bolt, like the god Zeus
Image by vasse nicolas,antoine / CC BY

“If you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they’d probably say they didn’t. Yet that’s not necessarily what they truly think. It’s just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don’t until they’re allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could.  » Read more

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PQ 9.6 — Are decisions about my actions or access to my body being made without my involvement or consent?

a cosplay of Ganon from the legend of Zelda. Ganon has a blackened face, a bright red hair, is wearing armor of navy and gold, and is holding out 2 crossed (thick) swords in front of them
Image by Kai / CC BY

PQ 9.6 — Are decisions about my actions or access to my body being made without my involvement or consent?

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Submitting to Ganon

My earliest fantasies were all about pleasing someone else.

It didn’t matter so much who they were. They were nebulous, dark, selfish. Like the shadowy figure of Ganon on the Zelda 2 Game Over screen.  » Read more

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PQ 9.5 — Is someone threatening my well-being, safety or livelihood?

screenshot of 2 people texting. 1: Morning sunshine 2: Good morning baby. I love you. 1: Love you too! 2: Have a good day 1: I hope you do too. 2: Thanks! You are the best boyfriend ever 1: Naw, I'm just in love.
Image by Elizabeth K / CC BY

PQ 9.5 — Is someone threatening my well-being, safety or livelihood?

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Threatening well-being, safety or livelihood? That sounds fairly extreme now, doesn’t it?

And yet — as in PQ 9.1, it’s important to note that sometimes these threats onset in rather insidious ways. That’s the tricky thing about abusive relationships.  » Read more

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Ducks Don’t Roll Out of Bed Like That: Being Tough Isn’t Always Effortless

a mallard duck swimming in the water, preening its back feathers
Image by Paul VanDerWerf / CC BY

I’ve always envied people who are impervious to criticism, thick-skinned. Tough people. Insults seem to roll off them like water off a duck’s back, as the cliche goes.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that having thick skin isn’t always as effortless as it seems. Sure, some people are more naturally inclined that way.  » Read more

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Empathy or Envy: Amatonormativity and Hidden Costs

a photo of an art gallery, to the left is a bronze statue that appears to be a woman with a child on her shoulders. Directly ahead is a brightly colored painting that appears to be a man leaping out of his own body. Off to the right, there appears to be a triptrych of modern images of the crucifixion. There are a few nondescript/blurry patrons and distantly in the photo there is a painting, details unclear, but it appears to be a portrait of someone wearing a red outfit.
Image by PAVEL BIBIKSAROV / CC BY

When I look at beautiful things now, I don’t wonder at the talent that must have produced it. Instead, I think of the stress that it probably took.

What happened behind the scenes? How many nights were spent sleepless? Exactly how heavy was the weight of the artist’s head in their hand?

The most beautiful things in life often come with very hidden and very private costs.  » Read more

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