Folks who are in emotional crumple zones are the ones others worry the least about upsetting or hurting. Not because they don’t have feelings. And not because they don’t get hurt easily.
Indeed, many folks in the crumple zone are actually quite sensitive — to their own emotions and to the ones of those around them. » Read more
Bit of a personal one, but here goes.
I was in a relationship with a guy who was kinky and poly. I was definitely curious to the kink side of things. I’d also had some abuse in my background. My “friend” and I talked about all of this. I don’t know if me being curious and interested amounts to consent, » Read more
Thank you for your blog. It’s really awesome.
I was wondering if you have written any pieces about solo polyamory and what your opinion is on it?
You know, I have written about solo polyamory here but only very little. » Read more
PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?
Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.
Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier, » Read more
PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?
“When it comes to polyamory, sometimes I think I’m the world’s biggest Monday morning quarterback,” she says.
I laugh involuntarily. “I’m not really into football,” I warn her.
“Well, you live in Cleveland, » Read more
On Halloween of 2016, I published a post titled “Toxic Monogamy,” in which I wrote:
Monogamy in and of itself has so many good qualities. Sexual exclusivity in particular has a large upside. When practiced perfectly (although not always the case, even when it’s meant to be), it carries a lower STI risk. » Read more
Have you ever considered, beloved other, how invisible we are to each other? We look at each other without seeing. We listen to each other and hear only a voice inside our self. The words of others are mistakes of our hearing, shipwrecks of our understanding. How confidently we believe OUR meanings of other people’s words. » Read more
As I’ve written before, unlike a lot of other polyamorous educators, I wasn’t someone who always knew I was polyamorous. Indeed, I considered myself quite a monogamous person growing up. Even now, I think of myself as being more ambiamorous than anything else, able to happily practice either polyamory or monogamy, » Read more
I’ve been married twice, but until recently I had never been asked to be in a wedding that wasn’t my own. You could say I was always a bride, never a bridesmaid. But in the past few months, I received news that this is about to change.
First, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in what will arguably be one of the most polyamorous weddings I’ve ever been to, » Read more
Hi Page, how do you know it’s time to end a relationship? I know relationships take work, but sometimes I feel like I’m beating a dead horse.
Great question! This was a tricky distinction for me to master. For the longest time, I was really reluctant to break up with people (even when it made sense to) because I’d internalized the following scripts surrounding breakups: