It’s So Easy to Get Your Own Thoughts & Feelings Mixed Up With Someone Else’s, for Better or Worse

a mop on a wood laminate floor
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s Sunday morning. I’m wearing sweatpants, a T-shirt I don’t care about, and a head wrap that holds my hair out of my face. It’s not glamorous, but it’s functional. I’m dressed that way because I’ve been cleaning. Nothing major but the kind of light cleaning that doesn’t wait for a weekday to be done.  » Read more

Continue Reading

If I Told You That Life Had No Purpose, How Would You Feel?

someone lying back on an inner tube floating in some body of water. They are also wearing an orange life jacket, a hat, and a pair of sandals
Image by Virginia State Parks / CC BY

If I told you that life had no purpose, how would you feel? Would you feel crushed? Or would you feel free?

For me, it all depends on the day. On whatever river of emotions I’m currently floating down.

Sometimes I’m gripped with sadness at this idea. With the realization that there’s no way to win at the game I’m playing.  » Read more

Continue Reading

The World Needs More Atypical Writers

a haphazardly piled stack of 7 pencils in various colors
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

People make a lot of assumptions about you when you have a large platform. Especially when you’re just starting to break through.

You get the strangest comments from people, ones that clearly assume things about your personality and intention for writing that aren’t in the pieces themselves. That are instead drawn from people’s opinions of what writers who have grown popular must be like personality-wise.  » Read more

Continue Reading

When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

a small concrete building with graffiti on it. Graffiti says "Question Everything?" and "leave your baggage here. Also has some illegible words as well as a large spraypainted depiction of an eye
Image by Jon Evans / CC BY

Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.

They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist,  » Read more

Continue Reading

The Very Presence of a Community and Other Voices Can Be Reassuring, Regardless of What They’re Even Saying

a map of various cartoon busts of people connected with a series of dotted lines, like a social network in pictographic form
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)

While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no,  » Read more

Continue Reading