How I Accidentally Got Closure On One Relationship From Another

a broken heart-shaped mirror sitting on a red flower on what appears to be pavement
Image by TimOve / CC BY

“I love you,” Skyspook said. “And that’s why if you go back there, back to that house, this relationship is over.”

“Yeah,” Seth said. “You’re not going back there.”

I’d just gotten done telling them (my husband and boyfriend) and two of our friends — Crock and Hilda — about an unfortunate incident with my other partner Rob.  » Read more

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Identifying as a Unicorn Allowed Me to Feel Proud of Something I Grew Up Feeling Ashamed About

a shadowy outline of a unicorn bucking up on its hindlegs on a rooftop. Its horn appears to be electrified. In the distance, there is a large tower with electrical activity at its top as well.
Image by Avariel Falcon / CC BY

“What’s a unicorn?” someone new to polyamory and its lexicon will invariably ask.

As folks pop up to answer the question, a few definitions will emerge. The most basic one is that the term “unicorn” is one that is primarily used in polyamorous circles to denote a bisexual woman who will date couples (most commonly heterosexual ones).  » Read more

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PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?

a concrete barrier that has a sign on it that reads "safe area." The top of it has yellow currogated metal plates and some orange and white safety cones.
Image by Peter Kaminski / CC BY

PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?

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It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.  » Read more

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PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

3 segments of rusty chain links on top of a wooden floor
Image by Patrick McConahay / CC BY

PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

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This question sits at the intersection of two separate — but important — issues.

The first is that whenever possible it’s best to stay out of other people’s relationships,  » Read more

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The Hardest Part of Opening an Existing Relationship: You Can’t Reroll Your Partner’s Stats (or Your Own)

a tower of various blue dice (D4, D10, D12, D6, D20, etc) balanced so as to form a tower. They are on a character sheet for on a wooden table. The background is blurry but appears to have other dice.
Image by Scott Akerman / CC BY

The most difficult part of opening up a relationship is that you’re changing its terms. However, it isn’t just the adjustment stress that can accompany all change (although that can be tough). It’s also that most of the time you didn’t go into the relationship expecting it to be open. And suddenly things that never mattered,  » Read more

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PQ 12.9 — Do I understand the needs my partner is seeking to meet by requesting veto, and have I considered alternative ways of meeting those needs?

a closeup of a dark-colored car. There's a yellow banner that draped across it that reads Student Driver in black letters
Image by burnbless / CC BY

PQ 12.9 — Do I understand the needs my partner is seeking to meet by requesting veto, and have I considered alternative ways of meeting those needs?

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Where I grew up at least, the cars they use for driver’s ed have a second set of controls on the passenger’s side.  » Read more

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