Bisexuality, Islands of Desire, and Invisible Polyamory

an aerial view of a string of forested islands
Image by Lau Svensson / CC BY

Invisible Polyamory

Skyspook and I have been charting my polyamorous web chart for the second book (coming soon). A map of my current relationship system, with all of my partners’ partners and so on. Taken as a whole, it looks hopelessly complicated.

But it never feels that way. These days it’s a pretty stable system.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Who Shouldn’t Be Polyamorous?

a wooden treehouse up in the branches of a tree in a forested area
Image by Martyn Smith / CC BY

Today’s article is a guest blog post by Matthew Shadrake.

Matt is a polyamorous switch and a big ole softie. He has previously contributed 3 posts to Poly.Land:

  1. Twin Demons: How I Learned About Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Monogamy
  2. The Difference Between Having Preferences and Being a Prejudiced Asshole in Online Dating
  3. Firing a Gun Into a Dark Room: Strip Clubs,
  4.   » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?

an assortment of Burpee seed packets, including Zinnia, Mammoth Russian sunflowers, Candy pink morning glory, and heavenly blue morning glory
Image by Lori L. Stalteri / CC BY

PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?

*

I remember the first time I planted flowers.

My first grade teacher sent us all home with seed packets. A wildflower variety. I was so excited. I walked to the edge of our property to a bare spot.  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

a castle in the clouds, over an ocean, with a large moon behind it
Image by pumpkincat210 / CC BY

PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

*

There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.

-Gilbert K. Chesteron

Minoring in Anxiety

“I’m happy for her,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Kindness Misers: “I’m Always Doing Everything for Everyone Else”

3 stacks of silver coins, of varying heights
Image by KMo Foto / CC BY

“I’m always doing everything for everyone else,” she says. “And where does it get me?”

I’m taken aback. I’m not sure where this is coming from. She’s got good qualities, but she’s far from anybody’s whipping boy. If anything, she’s more selfish than most.

“To hell with what they think,” she says,  » Read more

Continue Reading