While I’m a generally sunny person with a positive temperament, I’m not immune to sadness. Self-doubt.
The timing of these slumps can be rather unpredictable. But the negative thoughts I experience? Well, those tend to fall into a few very predictable categories.
And when I’m down on myself, there’s one line of negative thinking that I tend to encounter over and over again: I start to think that no one likes me. » Read more
It’s one of the unfortunate realities of interpersonal communication: The way that you talk to people in healthy situations will cause major problems when you’re trying to talk to someone stuck in unhealthy dynamics. That’s because manipulative people with toxic personalities will hijack normal conversational maxims and norms and exploit them to their own ends. » Read more
I previously posted an article that recounted a conversation I had with a friend about megasexuality (not feeling a romantic connection with someone unless there’s a strong sexual connection in place), which my friend referred to as the opposite of demisexuality (not experiencing sexual attraction until an emotional connection is formed).
Interestingly, » Read more
I learned an important lesson very early on about jealousy and the dangers of pitting people against one other.
My first grade teacher hung a bulletin board in our classroom that she titled “King of the Mountain.”
She’d created a scene on poster board for it. The image was, predictably, a mountain. » Read more
You polyamorous people, she writes, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too.
I’ve never liked this analogy. “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”
The wording’s always been a little confusing since “have” is often used when talking about food to mean “eat.” » Read more
There’s this way that you pull me to you when we’re both half-asleep that tells me you’re something different with me in your life. That I manage to balance you and yet unsettle you in a way that makes us both better.
After spending years together, through thousands of hours of careful observation, » Read more
I’ve been exploring my more kinky side and I would definitely say I’m a masochist. However, I’ve recently been wondering if I’ve been seeking this out as a new form of self-harm. I used to self-harm in the past and have stopped for a few years, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just placed the responsibility on someone else. » Read more
If someone does a favor for you, you like them more, right?
But what about the person doing the favor for you? One would expect that you risk making that person feel put out, surely. Inconvenienced. And they might hold having done that favor against you.
But curiously, researchers have found that they don’t. » Read more
As I wrote in a previous post, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty), » Read more
A while ago, I wrote a piece called “Abused Kids Get to Look Like Their Bullies“:
On countless mornings, I glimpse my reflection in the mirror and want to punch myself in the face.
Because I look like her at certain angles.
Her chin, strong but not square. » Read more