Long ago and far away, I was involved in some pretty hot and heavy sexy-time banter with a guy I was dating and rather smitten with.
In general, he was pretty good at the dirty talk. Which was one of the reasons I liked him so much. Because we had good overlap there. » Read more
I never know quite where you stand, and that’s why I’m so into you.
Your attention and affection aren’t readily available. Instead, they’re highly conditional. And those conditions are ever-changing, hidden from the rest of the world.
You play a game whose rules aren’t published anywhere. Because they fluctuate like Fluxx or Calvinball. » Read more
As I mentioned before, I’m naturally fairly laidback about chores. I happily do them and pitch in wherever I can (and at times, I do something like 15-20 hours of chores a week). But I’m not someone that’s ever going to be automatically repulsed by clutter or a mess.
This is likely an adaptation based on how I spent my teenage years:
…the short version is that in the 90s, » Read more
In a previous installment of Psyched for the Weekend, I covered the paradox of choice. Basically, the premise is that more isn’t necessarily better. It’s just different. While generally people like having options, it’s possible that having too many choices backfires. And it can lead you to feel less satisfied with whatever it is you end up choosing. » Read more
I’ve known some people in my life who could walk into a room and seem to make everyone seem more comfortable simply by being there.
They didn’t even have to say or do a lot, mind you. They just had a way of putting others at ease. A calm energy, if you will. » Read more
forgive (verb) – to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake
As I mentioned in another recent post, people tend to have a very expansive notion of forgiveness. They’ll often act as though forgiving someone means that you forgot what they did or that you allow your relationship with them to be exactly as it was before. » Read more
As long-time readers know, on the weekends I run a feature called Psyched for the Weekend. Basically, I do brief takes on new studies or old psychological concepts I find interesting.
At the date of this writing, there are 142 articles in that series. Wow.
As with all my essays, » Read more
I used to be a chronic apologizer.
Ask anyone who knew me back in the day. The words “I’m sorry” were a reflex. I said them more than just about any other phrase.
Because I was sorry. I forever saw how I made little mistakes. Got in people’s way. » Read more
It’s a mercy, really. I never know I’m devastated until the misery has lifted. Never know how much pain I was in until I’m starting to feel better.
There’s something about me that makes it so I shut down once I start feeling too much. The lights are on of course, but nobody’s home. » Read more
I’ve always been a person who feels things very deeply. Sensitive is one word for it — if a very general one.
Sensitive is one of those words that’s great since it’s top of mind and most people have heard it before. Have some kind of personal definition as to what it means. » Read more