The Drunk and Sober Versions of You Have Different Memory Banks

a scuba diver under the water
Image by Heath Alseike / CC BY

“Things’ll fall together eventually,” I say. “Just gotta keep on… shit, how did you put it?”

He cocks his head in the way he does when he’s listening to the question but doesn’t know exactly what I’m asking him.

“I want to say ‘keep on grinding,’” I continue. “But I know you don’t like that expression.”  » Read more

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The Paternalization of Marriage: “You Need to Make Your Husband Do X,” “Get Your Wife to Do Y”

a wedding cake topper of a bride dragging a groom away by the leg
Image by nola.agent / CC BY

Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of people who will judge you based on what your partner does — or doesn’t do.

I noticed this when I first got married.  I’d fallen in love with my husband for a number of reasons. An unflappable sense of confidence, a warm sense of humor, a kind of charm that’s difficult for me even now to explain.  » Read more

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Sometimes It’s Easier to Recover Out of Spite Than Out of Self-Love

it's a black T-shirt with white letters that say "this is what recovery looks like"
Image by Portland Prevention / CC BY

2003

“I can’t go without shaving down there anymore,” she says. “And it has nothing to do with feminism. Or being anti-feminism. ”

“Oh yeah?” I say. Because I don’t know what else to say. Over the months we’ve worked together, she’s become progressively more comfortable around me. Probably because I never freak out about what she says,  » Read more

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It’s Easy to Underestimate the Number of Pro-Polyamory Monogamous People Out There

a closeup of an abacus
Image by Anssi Koskinen / CC BY

The vast majority of people don’t worry much at all about getting into a car. Like a lot of other people, I myself have been known to do it multiple times in the same day. I’ve headed out to work, to the store, to home, and then later left go on a date before driving back home after.  » Read more

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