I’ve Made a Conscious Decision Not to Prize the Squeaky Wheel Over the One With Quieter Problems

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Image by Piano Piano! / CC BY

Folks who are in emotional crumple zones are the ones others worry the least about upsetting or hurting. Not because they don’t have feelings. And not because they don’t get hurt easily.

Indeed, many folks in the crumple zone are actually quite sensitive — to their own emotions and to the ones of those around them.  » Read more

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“I Was Slapped in the Face During Sex Without My Consent. Was I Raped?”

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Bit of a personal one, but here goes.

I was in a relationship with a guy who was kinky and poly. I was definitely curious to the kink side of things. I’d also had some abuse in my background. My “friend” and I talked about all of this. I don’t know if me being curious and interested amounts to consent,  » Read more

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PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?

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Image by Dheeraj Dwivedi / CC BY

PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?

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Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.

Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier,  » Read more

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PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?

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PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?

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“When it comes to polyamory, sometimes I think I’m the world’s biggest Monday morning quarterback,” she says.

I laugh involuntarily. “I’m not really into football,” I warn her.

“Well, you live in Cleveland,  » Read more

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How Bisexual Erasure & Toxic Monogamy Culture Are Linked

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Image by inthepotter'shands / CC BY

On Halloween of 2016, I published a post titled “Toxic Monogamy,” in which I wrote:

Monogamy in and of itself has so many good qualities. Sexual exclusivity in particular has a large upside. When practiced perfectly (although not always the case, even when it’s meant to be), it carries a lower STI risk.   » Read more

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Polyamory Helped Me Find a Community of Other Bisexual People

It's the bisexual flag. Three horizontal stripes, going from top to bottom: Pink, purple, blue.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

As I’ve written before, unlike a lot of other polyamorous educators, I wasn’t someone who always knew I was polyamorous. Indeed, I considered myself quite a monogamous person growing up. Even now, I think of myself as being more ambiamorous than anything else, able to happily practice either polyamory or monogamy,  » Read more

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Apparently You’re Not Supposed to Invite Exes to Your Wedding. Oops.

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Image by Tamara / CC BY

I’ve been married twice, but until recently I had never been asked to be in a wedding that wasn’t my own. You could say I was always a bride, never a bridesmaid. But in the past few months, I received news that this is about to change.

First, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in what will arguably be one of the most polyamorous weddings I’ve ever been to,  » Read more

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4 Clear Signs It’s Time to End Your Relationship

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Hi Page, how do you know it’s time to end a relationship? I know relationships take work, but sometimes I feel like I’m beating a dead horse. 

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Great question! This was a tricky distinction for me to master. For the longest time, I was really reluctant to break up with people (even when it made sense to) because I’d internalized the following scripts surrounding breakups:

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