I need your advice. My girlfriend who is not out as kinky or poly with a Christian faith based family is scheduled to have MAJOR surgery. Her family (elderly Mother & two young adult daughters) will be in town for her surgery and recovery for a few weeks. » Read more
I enjoy and follow your writings and the recent one about how to know your partner is jealous and not just inventing a concern reminded me that I’ve been trying to find some info on how to deal with it when a partner is jealous.
More specifically, how do I not have anxious and guilty feelings, » Read more
When I opened up a relationship that had been monogamous for 8 years, I was prepared to feel jealous. But what I wasn’t prepared for? The radical shift in my thinking about that relationship. We both became much more autonomous. And it was a large adjustment getting used to our increased autonomy.
Prior to discovering polyamory, » Read more
PQ 8.1 — Am I worried that if someone “better” comes along, my partner will realize I’m not good enough and want to replace me?
Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.
I wish to hell I’d never said the damned thing. I meant having a goal…I sure as hell didn’t mean for people to crush human values and morality. » Read more
So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?
I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested. » Read more
Stealy McGrabbypants, Experienced Master
Hi pretty, how are you doing? Experienced master is here and I’d like you to be mine if you don’t mind……
I read the message, shake my head, and think: Okay, dude, what kind of slave just rando jumps ship when some guy PMs them? » Read more
I really enjoyed your recent post on viewing monogamy and polyamory as a spectrum. It made me realize I don’t know a lot about mono/poly. What are some common reasons people are in mono/poly relationships? Can it work? Can it be fair? Or does the monogamous person just suffer all the time? » Read more
Cat Math: Two Plus Three Equals… Three
I once was friends with a guy who had five cats. “But really,” he said. “Having five cats is more like having three.”
“How do you figure?’ I asked, imagining the potential yowling in the middle of the night as his cats all fight for territory. » Read more
Let’s say your partner is seeing someone new. And you really don’t like them. What do you do?
Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself: “Why don’t I like this person?”
It could just be a personality conflict (which totally happens). » Read more
PQ 7.8 — Does my communication show that I take responsibility for my actions and emotions?
When Someone “Makes” Us Feel Something
It’s very common to hear people say that someone “made” them feel something.
“She made me feel bad.”
“You make me so unhappy.”
“He makes me so frustrated.” » Read more