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Proximity, Social Pressure, and Same Sex Erasure in Polyamorous Relationships

a picture of a park bench with the words "this seat taken" and a downward pointing arrow written on it
Image by JapanBlack / CC BY

Today’s guest post is from LH, a poly, kinky, queer lady, who identifies as a lesbian. She feels lucky to have found a primary partner who is sweet and loving and makes her feel valued, and a secondary partner whose steady support is a foundation for her. She has been challenged and grown a lot safely,  » Read more

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Forget Grand Gestures. Relationships Are Lost (or Won) in the Details.

two yellow stick figure sculptures. They are both smiling. The one on the left seems to be giving a white flower petal to the one on the right.
Image by Kate Ter Haar / CC BY

Practice yourself, for heaven’s sake in little things, and then proceed to greater.

-Epicetus

*

We have more possibilities in each moment than we realize.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Forget Grand Gestures. Relationships Are Lost (or Won) in the Details.

The way that successful romantic relationships are framed is often very deceiving.   » Read more

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Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal With Guilt From Hurting a Partner

a very sad looking character made of marshmallows. they have little hands made from white thumbtacks.
Image by Maryam Abdulghaffar / CC BY

I enjoy and follow your writings and the recent one about how to know your partner is jealous and not just inventing a concern reminded me that I’ve been trying to find some info on how to deal with it when a partner is jealous.

More specifically, how do I not have anxious and guilty feelings,  » Read more

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PQ 3.6 — Am I offering others the same consideration I expect from them?

the United Buddy Bears in Helsinki, gold bear statues constructed to demonstrate the golden rule
Image by Ari Helminen / CC BY

PQ 3.6 — Am I offering others the same consideration I expect from them?

Offering the Same Consideration, Not Doing the Same Exact Thing

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Matthew 7:12)

It’s the Golden Rule. Psychologists call it social reciprocity — the principle that if one person gives,  » Read more

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Hanging by a Thread: New Partners and Pseudo-Anxious Attachment

black and white photo of 2 sneakers hanging from a power line
Image by mattw1ls0n / CC BY

I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant.  Anxious types, fueled by an insatiable emotional hunger, seek that closeness from their avoidant partner,  » Read more

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What They Don’t Tell You About Dating an Abused Person, Part 2 — “You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

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“You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

I think or say this more often that I would like to. Usually it’s when I’m talking to my husband, and it always underscores to me that while I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years,  » Read more

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Ask Page: How Do I Help My New Dominant Feel Special?

a bunch of lemons slice stacked on top of each other in an overlapping way so you can see many of them. One slice near the bottom right corner has pink flesh inside instead of yellow and sticks out dramatically
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

My husband and I are polyamorous. With my husband, Brett† , I co-parent, co-habitate, share finances, own businesses together. With one of my boyfriends, Dale† , I have a newish D/s dynamic that mimics some aspects of a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship.

Because the power exchange dynamic with Dale and I evolved from just bedroom play to something more serious,  » Read more

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I’m Suddenly Bothered By New Things After Quality Time with My Partner Got Cut Back. Any Thoughts?

a picture of a hot tub on a rooftop with a sun setting in the background
Image by Nick Webb / CC BY

Hi Page, 

I am currently in a 2-year relationship with a polyamorous, married man. His family (my metamour and their daughter) know me pretty well at this point. For a very long time in the beginning, jealousy wasn’t much of an issue at all, in fact I found some natural (and surprising) good feelings that I didn’t expect about feeling very positively about their success as a family and as a couple.  » Read more

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