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It’s Tough to Pack Your Ego in Mothballs, But You Might Need to if Your Metamour Is Reluctantly Polyamorous

a brown moth
Image by Hsu Hong Lin / CC BY

A while back, some friends of mine, Margo and Emily, had their first foray into polyamory as a couple. They’d already been sexually open for a little while, having occasional threesomes with another friend (who had an anchor relationship of his own). But neither of them had another ongoing relationship, nor a connection where there were strong romantic emotions.  » Read more

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PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?

a close up of a matrix of prison bars
Image by mitchell haindfield / CC BY

PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?

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You know, when it comes to my anchor partner, I’m really lucky.

Not because he never experiences jealousy (he most certainly does), but because he understands a very crucial distinction between the following two things:

  1. What you’re doing is causing me pain.
  2.   » Read more

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PQ 15.5 — How do I define “commitment”? Do my definitions leave room for nontraditional commitments and nontraditional relationship trajectories?

a closeup of orange pills in a foil blister pack that read "Dquil" in white letters on them
Image by slgckgc / CC BY

PQ 15.5 — How do I define “commitment”? Do my definitions leave room for nontraditional commitments and nontraditional relationship trajectories?

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Here is a good example of commitment, drawn from an earlier piece:

I walked a mile in the bitter cold to get him DayQuil while he was buried up to his neck in covers,  » Read more

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PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?

a blackboard with the chalk outline of two hands engaged in a handshake superimposed over a rainbow tinted map of the world
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?

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Ooooo… This one is a flashback:  PQ 10.3 – Does everyone affected by the agreement have the opportunity to be involved in setting its terms?

In that piece, I talk about a situation in which you answer an ad to live with two roommates only to find that they’ve unilaterally decided that not only are you paying a third of the rent (which is fair),  » Read more

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