PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?

A chart labeled "A helpful Venn diagram." There is an orange circle on the left labeled "The Internet" and a green circle on the right labeled "privacy." They do not overlap whatsoever.
Image by Bernard Goldbach / CC BY

PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?

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I’ve written a bit about the importance of letting others have privacy in an earlier piece: Buttinski, #1 Metamour, or Compervert: Walking that Fine Line. As I wrote then:

While an overall atmosphere of transparency is a wonderful thing in polyamory (as it can promote understanding and build trust),  » Read more

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Disappointment Lives in the Space Between Fantasy and Reality

a concrete train platform. It has the following stamped on it in blue letters "BEWARE GAP WHEN BOARDING"
Image by Laurence Grayson / CC BY

Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults.  » Read more

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PQ 9.8 — Does my partner make me feel worse about myself?

a very sad-looking pug dog lying down
Image by hannah k / CC BY

PQ 9.8 — Does my partner make me feel worse about myself?

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Before I begin, a quick caveat: I get what this question is driving at, but saying someone “makes” us feel a certain way can have a downside.

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A lot of people are scared of polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy because they worry their partner will compare them to others.  » Read more

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PQ 9.7 — Am I being asked to participate in, or be complicit in, something I consider dishonest or unethical?

a drawing of black ink on brown paper. It is of a cat person with a cowboy hat and jeans on, holding a rifle, looking very much like a gunslinger. The faint outline of mountains is seen behind him
Image by Mike Skrzynski / CC BY

PQ 9.7 — Am I being asked to  participate in, or be complicit in, something I consider dishonest or unethical?

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“I don’t like being negative,” I say. I’ve just finished complaining about something another person did that really bothered me.

“It’s hard having morals,” he says.

I laugh.  » Read more

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