What Is Perspecticide? (Abuse)

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When I was 19 years old, I wound up in an abusive relationship. Kurt was 32 years old. He’d lived in multiple states. This really impressed me at the time. It was only later that I’d find out that he moved around because of legal trouble. And that he’d wound up living in Maine (where I grew up and where I met him) because Kurt had sought out his brother who had built a comfortable life for himself,  » Read more

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“Of Course, Most People Feel Like I Do” — False Consensus Bias & You

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Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things you believe, nor acts the way you would act.

Remember this and you will go a long way in getting along with people.

-Arthur Forman

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False consensus bias is a cognitive bias that causes people to see our own behavior and opinions as more common than it actually is.  » Read more

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“Single” Doesn’t Have to Mean “Lonely” or “Unhappy,” Especially When Your Friends Rock

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Amatonormativity: (noun) the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types

We’ve talked many times on this site about amatonormativity.  » Read more

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We Like & Get Along Better With People Who Are Similar to Us

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What makes us want to be friends with someone? What makes for a good, satisfying romantic relationship?

Some people would say that opposites attract. But frankly, decades of empirical research point in the other direction: Compatibility is based on having things in common. While there seems to be a role for complementarity —  » Read more

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