I recently published a piece called “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” That article attracted a lot of attention and resulted in many comments and private messages. For the most part, its reception was very positive. I heard from a bunch of folks who were happy to see some ace representation, » Read more
Myers-Briggs & Love Languages Aren’t Scientifically Valid, But That Doesn’t Make Them Useless.
In 2008 I became obsessed with Myers-Briggs. For those who haven’t heard of it, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that gives you a 4-letter result. Each letter is a different binary that represents a dimension of personality.
The first letter of a Myers-Briggs result is either E for Extroversion or I for Introversion. » Read more
“My Newly Polyamorous Partner Keeps Making Unfunny Jokes About It”
Hi Page,
I’ve been doing the whole polyamorous relationship thing for about 7 years. I love your blog because it’s such a good mix of levels. There are plenty of beginner articles that I can send to friends who are curious about poly or just getting into it, » Read more
Turn Down the Heat on Difficult People by Staying Medium Chill
A while back, I wrote an article on one of my favorite tools in the quest of maintaining my sanity: The gray rock method.
The gray rock method can be an emotional lifesaver in situations where you’re forced to interact with a manipulative person. Especially one who is good at laying conversational traps and kicking up drama out of nowhere. » Read more
People Often Don’t Know Why They Believe Things But Will Come Up With a Reason Anyway
While the study of the nuts and bolts of the human mind is still arguably in its infancy, people have been observing and arguing about human behavior for centuries. Empirical social science is relatively new (with the earliest formal studies only going back to the 19th century) but has managed to make a dizzying number of discoveries and exciting insights about human nature — » Read more
Hey, Why Don’t You Write About [TOPIC]?
In the course of running Poly Land, I get a lot of feedback from readers via both public comments and private messages.
I do hear a lot from folks seeking advice, and some of these conversations are turned into advice columns. But I also get a lot of outreaches in which the letter writer is advising me somehow. » Read more
There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know
A lot of people assume that this idea that polyamory is about having loving, committed relationships is all a bunch of hooey.
Secretly, they argue, deep down inside, all polyamorists are looking for is sex. It’s about the sex. The ease of having more access to greater sexual variety. And the ability to have super adventurous experiences like orgies. » Read more
“How Can You Be a Parent and NOT Understand Non-Possessive Love?”
“I have this one friend who’s always getting on me for having an open marriage,” she says.
“Been there,” I say.
“Really?” she says. “What happened?”
“With just that one friend or the others?”
“There was more than one?” she asks.
“Of course. » Read more
When It Comes Down to It, *Everyone* Is Sharing Their Partner
There are things you get used to hearing a lot when you’re in an open relationship. One of those is, “Oh, I could never do that. I wouldn’t want to share my partner.”
One common response to this a lot of people have tried is something like, “I don’t own my partner. I didn’t buy them. » Read more
Sex Negativity Is Nigh Inevitable When People View Sex as Inherently Disrespectful
Why is it such a controversial thing to be sex-positive? a reader writes. The more I grow and age, the more I think that’s what I need to be.
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When I was very little, my mother decided she wanted me to be her sidekick. » Read more