Being Kind to Others Makes People Happier than Treating Themselves

a card with a stencilled background of butterflies. The words on it read "Kindness blooms in even the harshest climate"
Image by Dedra Wolff / CC BY

Happiness stems from within, we’re told. If you want to be happy, start with you. Be good to yourself first. Focus on self-care. Give yourself a little treat.

This is the kind of advice that sounds good and is easy to follow. And while it’s important not to skimp on self-care and let yourself run too far on empty a question naturally follows: Does taking care of yourself lead to happiness?  » Read more

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When Public Displays of Affection on Social Media Are Hiding Unhappiness

cartoon person with long hair covering their eyes and sitting behind a laptop that has stickers that represent Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram on it
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’ve always been someone who posts positive things about partners on social media. Always.

I post positive things when things are going well. I post positive things when they’re not.

It’s a funny thing because when you’re a relationship writer, people expect you to let it all hang out. For you to have no boundaries about what you say.  » Read more

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You Don’t Know How You’re Going to Feel. And That’s Okay.

a painting featuring drama masks - one is happy, the other is sad
Image by Rain Love AMR / CC BY

As much as I strive to live in the moment, I’ve always been someone who rehearses things.

When I’m about to have an important conversation, I will often find myself imagining how it’s going to go. Sometimes this involves actually playing out the hypothetical talk. Acting out both sides clumsily like a person playing a board game against themselves.  » Read more

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Self-Signaling, or Why “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Is Actually Good Advice

a chalk drawing of a stick figure going up a set of stairs
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

-Kurt Vonnegut

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Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling,  » Read more

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Dishonesty Can Actually Damage Your Ability to Read People

statue of Venus wearing a blindfold
Image by Pixabay / CC BY

It’s well known that dishonesty can be damaging to interpersonal relationships. When we find out someone has lied to us, it can be very difficult to trust them again.

But how about the other side of things? When someone has lied to us, even if no one discovers that they have lied, does the act carry consequences for them as well?  » Read more

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What Is a Situationship?

a question mark
Image by Wee Sen Goh / CC BY

As anyone who has read this blog for any length of time is aware, I am a lover of new words. And as a relationship writer, there’s no shortage of new words coming into the public conversation about love, sex, and dating.

Today I present to you situationship, a word that keeps popping up in articles that I’ve been reading.  » Read more

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