What Relationship Deescalations Are and How They’re Different Than Breakups

a photo of a person holding an upside down tabby cat
Image by Derek Bridges / CC BY

What’s deescalation? It sounds like you basically pulling back and becoming more distant from your partner. Is it basically a slow breakup as opposed to a quicker breakup?

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When we’re talking about relationships, deescalation can mean a variety of things. But essentially, deescalating a relationship means that you’re moving to become less entangled.  » Read more

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PQ 17.6 — Where does my sense of security come from in my relationships? What am I willing to do to help my partners feel secure, and will those things come at a cost to any new relationships I may start?

A sunset scene where two small blonde-haired girls in pink dresses are standing before a lion. One girl is standing in front of the other (who is leaning on her back timidly) and reaching out as if she is about to pet the lion.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 17.6 — Where does my sense of security come from in my relationships? What am I willing to do to help my partners feel secure, and will those things come at a cost to any new relationships I may start?
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“Remind me again: How many plans do you have in case I kick you out?”  » Read more

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PQ 17.5 — As I seek new relationships, what guarantees can I offer my new partners that I will make space for them, listen to their needs, and be able to change to accommodate these new relationships?

a brown leather suitcase decorated with an assortment of stickers
Image by Christine und Hagen Graf / CC BY

PQ 17.5 — As I seek new relationships, what guarantees can I offer my new partners that I will make space for them, listen to their needs, and be able to change to accommodate these new relationships?

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Once upon a time, I was terrified of change. I’d been through enough of it in my life,  » Read more

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When It Comes to the Olympics of Love, I May Have Switched Sports

the silhouette of a runner who is wearing a visor running in front of a background of a very yellow sunny sky with many clouds
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Ro and I are having dinner. Talking about on-again, off-again relationships. Ones where the general shape of them look like a heartbeat on an EKG. A quick spasm of highs and lows, highs and lows.

“That’s not how mine look at all,” Ro says. She explains that hers are more of a line that goes up gradually but pretty much consistently.  » Read more

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Parallel Polyamory, Kitchen Table Polyamory, and Knowing the Details or Not

parallel lines through a crop field
Image by Richard Walker / CC BY

Hi Page, 

Is it common to not want to know anything at all about your partner’s partners? My sweetie often wants to know the details of my other relationships. This is fine, and I don’t mind, but I really don’t want to know about theirs. 

Kitchen Table Versus Parallel Polyamory

How much contact you want with your metamours (a word that polyamorous people often use to describe their partner’s other partners) is something that polyamorous people do vary on.  » Read more

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