PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

a sculpture that is the bust of the philosopher Heraclitus, the philosopher. He looks like a man with a full beard.
Image by Michael Coté / CC BY

PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

Individual Rules Are Like Mini-Agreements

As I wrote recently, these days I’m a little leery of “rules,” while at the same time understanding how they were absolutely invaluable when I was a brand new poly person.  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 11.5 — Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship? Am I comfortable maintaining a relationship within those rules? Am I comfortable with the reasons for the rules?

a steel sign with raised letters that say "THE LAW" viewed from an angle
Image by biscuitsmlp / CC BY

PQ 11.5 — Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship? Am I comfortable maintaining a relationship within those rules? Am I comfortable with the reasons for the rules?

*

In my time, I’ve known some folks with very brief relationship agreements.  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

abstract image of interlocked orange semi-circles in kind of a maze-like fashion superimposed over a smoky grey background
Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

*

As I mentioned in an earlier post, agreements that don’t take the needs of everyone they affect into consideration aren’t ideal.  » Read more

Continue Reading