I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.
It was a surprising turn of events at the time. » Read more
As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “ » Read more
PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle?
There’s a certain kind of story I grew up believing: No sacrifice was too great for love. In fact, my own personal picture of love required a large sacrifice. » Read more
PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life?
This question reminds me of a guest post I featured last year by Fluffy titled “Being Single Sucks, But We Don’t Want to Hear About It.” In that post, » Read more
Like most people, I grew up being told that when it comes to sex that men are the gas, women are the brakes.
However, when I entered my first long-term monogamous relationship, I discovered the hard way that not everyone follows this pattern. In fact, my boyfriend wanted sex way less often than I did. » Read more
“I’ve thought of something you should write about,” she tells me.
“Oh?” I say. She’s not the type to offer up ideas very often. Not much of an unsolicited advice giver. And her insights are usually great. So she has my interest.
“It’s about something I’ve never really heard anybody talk about in relation to polyamory,” » Read more
Hi Page, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I particularly love your post on how to feel more secure in relationships. I did have one question though: How do you stop comparing yourself to others? I know it’s not doing me any favors to worry about how I measure up to my partner’s other partners. » Read more
Maybe it should have told me more than it did, that we liked the same band — but for completely different reasons.
He was attracted to the drama of their music. The dynamics, especially the highs. When he sang along, it was a form of emotional expression he couldn’t get anywhere else. A vessel for his unacceptable feelings. » Read more
Every morning I said hello to my third roommate: Xena Warrior Princess.
She was cardboard, all 6 feet of her, and well dressed for any occasion in her armored dress, her chakra at the ready, her smoky bedroom eyes daring me to just go ahead — get too perky before a reasonable hour. » Read more
PQ 15.5 — How do I define “commitment”? Do my definitions leave room for nontraditional commitments and nontraditional relationship trajectories?
Here is a good example of commitment, drawn from an earlier piece:
I walked a mile in the bitter cold to get him DayQuil while he was buried up to his neck in covers, » Read more