One of the more surreal aspects of blogging to a wide audience is reading other people’s takes on the personal experiences you’ve shared with them. You get used to it quickly, or you don’t last. I find that even more challenging perspectives can be helpful if I can resist the urge to get defensive. » Read more
After a long and exhaustive search chasing dead ends, you finally land a new job that you’re excited about.
The company culture is fantastic. The benefits are great. And it pays pretty well… except, well, it’s entry level. You’re in the right field, but it’s not what you dream of doing.
No problem, » Read more
I was a child of the 80’s. Obsessed with Cabbage Patch Kids. Punky Brewster.
This meant I came of age during the Jerry Springer years.
As I watched countless chairs hurled angrily across the stage, I absorbed a key message: There was nothing worse than your partner sleeping with someone else. » Read more
A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept it, they’ll never achieve anything, never improve, and that their life won’t matter.
This sort of thinking is dangerous. Once you accept the premise that a life is worthwhile only if it is truly notable and great, » Read more
“Hands Off That Guilt!”
Last week, we posted “Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal with Guilt from Hurting a Partner” in response to a reader who wrote in asking for help.
The piece drew a lot of interest. Most of it was positive and thanked us for tackling a common issue that isn’t often addressed by existing poly how-to. » Read more
It is not always by plugging away at a difficulty and sticking to it that one overcomes it; often it is by working on the one next to it. Some things and some people have to be approached obliquely, at an angle.
Closing the Loop
“And this will be the third time I’ve mentioned him,” » Read more
I’ve been doing a lot of reading over the last few months, including lots of your writings, and the more I read on the topic of poly, the more it has started making sense to me.
When I first joined FetLife and met my Dom, I thought I was 100% monogamous. » Read more
PQ 8.2 — Am I uncertain about the value my partner sees in me? Am I not sure why my partner wants to be with me?
Am I not sure why my partner wants to be with me?
It took me a very long time to realize it, » Read more
“Dating is the worst,” she says.
“Tell me about it.”
“I’m just tired of explaining myself,” she says. “Over and over again.”
“Oh? The poly stuff?” I ask, thinking of this meme.
“Well, sure,” she says. “That doesn’t help. Doing a polyamory 101 orientation every time I turn around.” » Read more
I have seen human beings who have forged “intellectual” armor to shield themselves from adversity. They seemed stronger than most. They said, “I couldn’t care less,” and laughed at everything, but when adversity managed to pierce their armor, it caused terrible damage.
I have seen human beings suffer from the slightest adversity, » Read more