Malicious Envy, Benign Envy, and Deservingness

a closeup photo of a very green eye
Image by Kyle MacKenzie / CC BY

At this point, Poly Land has featured a number of articles on jealousy (including this article that many have found quite helpful in coping with jealousy).

As I’ve mentioned before, it can be difficult when experiencing jealousy to figure out exactly what you’re feeling. Jealousy isn’t a single discrete emotion but a system of emotions,  » Read more

Continue Reading

I Wonder About People That I Can’t Ever Possibly Know

a misty forest clearing at dusk
Image by Jason Boldero / CC 0

Gnossiene: noun

A moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life, and somewhere in the hallways of their personality is a door locked from the inside, a stairway leading to a wing of the house that you’ve never fully explored, an unfinished attic that will remain maddeningly unknown to you,  » Read more

Continue Reading

The “Should Have Stayed a Play Partner” Effect

a tube of toothpaste with the cap off that has had most of the toothpaste squeezed out of it
Image by Kristopher Avila / CC BY

Have you ever met someone who is fantastic at first? There’s something fun and shiny about them.

Maybe they’re things that you’re missing in the rest of your life. That you don’t know anybody else who does well. Or can engage with you on that particular level.

Maybe these aspects are so shiny that you are quick to forgive many things that should have given you cause for concern.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Dumped & Depressed: “You Wouldn’t Leave Someone With Cancer,” He Said.

a closeup of a horse on a merry go round
Image by Ariane Hunter / CC BY

“You wouldn’t leave someone with cancer,” he said.

She blinked, not quite sure she was hearing what she was hearing. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’re breaking up with me because I have depression,” he said. “That’s wrong. Not only is it wrong, it’s cruel. I never thought you were someone who would do something like that.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Children Can Learn Aggressive Behavior by Watching and Imitating It

blue boxing gloves
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s no secret that children don’t just do what they’re told to. And instead, they learn a lot by watching and imitating others.

That’s where the whole ideal of a “role model” stems from. The term was originally coined by the late sociologist Robert Merton. (Incidentally, Merton also coined the term “self-fulfilling prophecy”  » Read more

Continue Reading

Going Vigilante: When You’re Fully Convinced Your Beliefs Are Vastly Superior to Everyone Else’s

the car from Dukes of Hazzard
Image by Engyles / CC BY

Have you ever known someone who really seemed fully convinced that their beliefs were vastly superior to everyone around them? And who not only felt that way but also felt a need to run around making sure to correct everyone?

Someone who seemed completely unable to tolerate the reality that it might be acceptable for other people to have different beliefs than them?  » Read more

Continue Reading

What’s Forgiveness Orientation & How Does It Affect Relationships?

a rock with the English word "Forgiveness" next to the Chinese character for the same word
Image by James_Seattle / CC BY

There’s been a theme lately as I’m listening to people’s troubles and giving out advice.

You can tell a lot about a situation by what their particular forgiveness orientation is, how their forgiveness is balanced between self and others.

In the most simple terms, a forgiveness balance can be expressed with the following equation: Forgiveness of self divided by forgiveness of others.  » Read more

Continue Reading