Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
The subtitle of this article should be “A Post in which I Am Relentlessly Attacked by Science.”
Because I’ve been on a roll lately with the studies. I keep finding ones that have results that make me go “Oh, C’MON.”
If I were a different kind of person, I’d probably mutter “hogwash” » Read more
Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.
I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:
To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, » Read more
My ex-partner liked to say that I was needy, clingy, and dependent.
When I started dating someone new, they told me that I was incredibly autonomous, self-reliant, and independent. That they were used to their partners leaning on them a helluva lot more than what I asked. That they were used to relationships being one-sided, » Read more
I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.
Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up. » Read more
While I’ve had a couple of close friends who were extroverted (including my high school best friend), the vast majority of my close friends have been introverts.
That was how I got my social start back in elementary school. Shy kids flocked to me. I was often the group spokesperson, being brave on my friends’ » Read more
“No matter what, you gotta find a way to love yourself,” she says. “Because self-love’s where it’s at. That’s where the real good stuff is.”
And yet every time I talk to her, she confesses that she’s unhappy with other people, in spite of nailing the self-love stuff. “I know I’m the shit,” » Read more
Sometimes I run across a study that gives me a big old “oof” when I read it. Because I have selfish reasons for not wanting it to be true.
Today’s article falls into that category.
I have an interesting relationship with makeup. I didn’t wear it at all until I was 30 years old. » Read more
I’m telling you… it’s a weird world out there research-wise. I feature a wide array of topics in this article series. And I’ve read a lot of research at this point in my life (even spent some time as a researcher myself). But I still managed to be surprised by research studies. Surprised at what the researchers are looking at, » Read more
There’s nothing quite like an emotional hangover.
There’s nothing quite like waking up the morning after I poured my heart out, only to have it met with silence. Because it overwhelmed you.
I get it. It overwhelms me. If I could get away from my heart, I would.
But it’s always there. » Read more
This past summer I moved cross-country to a new area, leaving the community I knew rather well and landing somewhere where I basically knew no one at all.
At first I was pretty darn shellshocked. The simple logistical process of packing up everything we owned, preparing the house for sale, and living in it while it was being shown to prospective buyers… » Read more
