That first bite of fried egg hit my tongue and sent my whole mouth into paroxysms of joy. Just a kiss of butter, the white so delicate and chewy, medium hard yolk melting, sending shivers down my spine. It was as good as anything I’ve ever eaten while stoned. And we were both perfectly sober. » Read more
Compersion is so fantastic and ever-present for me (even when I’m sexually exclusive) that it gets to go first, and it gets an entire essay to itself. I’ve included a basic definition below for the uninitiated who stumble across this writing (quick, rough definition of compersion is “the opposite of jealousy”). » Read more
I’ve been wanting to write this essay for a while, stopped and started. Floundered.
Because while I feel strongly about the following issue, I find myself reluctant to admit openly that Skyspook and I have had disagreements. Which is ludicrous, really. But I’m a victim of social pressure. So many times have I heard people in relationships proudly proclaiming, » Read more
I remember the first orgasm I ever had for one distinct reason: It terrified me.
It was New Year’s Eve ’97, and I was sitting on my boyfriend Greg’s lap, straddling him as we kissed on the couch, and he fondled my breasts – a Kathy Griffin stand-up special blaring raucously in the background. » Read more
So much work has already been done, sorting out my own head, my feelings, thought patterns, behaviors. And so much lies ahead.
Today, a single thought crystallizes into word form, “He treats me better than a friend, and this is what shocks me.”
I’ve felt this, thought it wordlessly, nebulously, without form – » Read more
May 23, 2011:
I’m in the midst of an incredible romance with Skyspook. He keeps doing things for me that I like, taking me places I like, etc, just because I like them (something I’m not at all used to). Also we are play fighting (hitting, wrestling, biting, etc) with a vengeance – » Read more
As I’m sweeping the floor, I find myself thinking of last night, how you grabbed my hair as I sucked you off and thrust until you came, wild with desire. You’d been so gentle until that moment, polite. I run the thought over in my head, polishing it like a stone, lording over the fact that I’ve learned your body well enough to draw out your animal instincts, » Read more
Growing up, my friends were really good-looking girls, stylish, very popular with the boys. Most of them were rather sexually active because they were desirable, pursued. The hot girls.
I had acne, baby fat, and a habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I hid my curves behind thermal shirts, » Read more
“Before you treat me, I need to make sure you’re comfortable with a few things.”
“I’m part of the local kink community. I’m really into it. It’s important to me.”
“Kink community?” The look on my therapist’s face is one of sheer confusion.
I sigh. » Read more
I am still lost. A traveler here. But I’ve recognized I have no home where I came from, no place to go back to. This sets my course.
I lost everything I had. I lost very little.
This is not the first time I’ve suffered a great loss, turned my back on people I’ve loved in the name of self-preservation. » Read more