I’ve realized my major problem as a writer, what holds me back more than anything.

Self-consciousness, that pesky inner critic who will not shut the fuck up.

I find I do best when I can really just focus on the task in hand and not generate a band of hecklers in my head.   » Read more

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There’s the Door

There is no such thing as a lover’s oath.



I’ve written a bit about my dating patterns in past relationships:

I limited my sights to those who approached me, no matter how underwhelmed I was by their character, their accomplishments, their insights. I  based  my level of interest on their level of interest and once in a relationship would work desperately to foster reciprocal emotions.  » Read more

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On Gender Supremacy

I keep running into one disturbing trend as I explore the Master/slave community and Skyspook and I experiment with the dynamic: Male supremacy.

I know, I know. I am a female-bodied person kneeling before a male-bodied person. I call him “Sir,” follow orders, consent as he beats me, degrades me, uses me for his own sexual pleasure.  » Read more

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The first time I got off on being used as furniture, I was 17 years old.

It was at my best friend N’s 18th birthday party. Her parents had converted their basement into an awesome entertaining room – complete with a full bar and bear skin rug. On other occasions, N and I would sneak down there,  » Read more

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Strange Company

I mentioned a few posts back about a writing project I’ve undertaken, a book, a memoir.

It’s an odd feeling writing this book. The person I’ve been spending the most time with lately is the me of 2009. Somehow I feel I owe her an apology. I guess the book is that apology.  » Read more

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Someone I Used to Know

A few days ago, I became aware that someone I was friendly with back in Maine was silently following me on social media. She’d posted a random comment, and a few minutes later, I had figured out who she was. The language and attitude were unmistakably her, and the profile pictures, although they didn’t show her face,  » Read more

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