“Both suffering for love and being addicted to a relationship are romanticized by our culture… Very few models exist of people relating as peers in healthy, mature, honest, nonmanipulative, and nonexploitative ways, probably for two reasons: First, in all honesty, such relationships in real life are fairly rare. Second, since the quality of emotional interplay in healthy relationships is often much subtler than the blatant drama of unhealthy relationships,  » Read more

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I have a secret. I love to be alone.

For anyone who knows me in everyday life, this may come as a bit of a shock. After all, I’m friendly, chatty, outgoing, in many ways your basic socialite.

This doesn’t mean that social interactions don’t drain me, however. They do. I’m very sensitive to other people’s emotions,  » Read more

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There’s nothing quite like walking along a road in Cleveland to come across a brownstone reverberating like a cathedral, The Jackson Five echoing into the street.

To find the yappy dog on the block has determined you are his consummate companion and manages to follow you from 5 feet ahead.

To cheer on the nun in the SUV who cuts off an entire line of traffic at the intersection,  » Read more

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Fan Letter to a Total Stranger

Post-It Note

I’m writing to you to thank you for the Post-It tucked inside the front cover of the copy of Women Who Love Too Much I bought secondhand with the list of other “Suggested Reading” you left for the next person who’d read it. Thank you for your insights, the notes you jotted in the margins,  » Read more

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Saving the World, One Knot at a Time

“The only hope for peace is to teach people who are full of pep and unbound force to enjoy being bound… Only when the control of self by others is more pleasant than the unbound assertion of self in human relationships can we hope for a stable, peaceful human society… Giving to others, being controlled by them,  » Read more

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It was quite a surprise when I met with my therapist last night.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

I smiled, thought a moment. “Really well, actually. Really freaking well. Something just clicked in my head, and so much makes sense now.”

I talked about my newfound clarity about my failed first marriage,  » Read more

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I had written recently about the possibility that I’d regret cutting ties with my friends back in Maine when Ex-Husband and I divorced.

It’s timely that this week Ex-Husband shot me a Facebook request, and I accepted.

It’s been quite an eye opening experience. I was thinking there’d be some residual feelings that would be stirred reading his updates,  » Read more

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Usual Reasons Why I Don’t Write Back to Friends

  • What you’ve written provokes such a complicated response within me that I feel if I write right away, I’ll misrepresent myself because I don’t quite understand it yet. This could be for emotional or intellectual reasons. I need time to reflect in order to convey these thoughts and feelings accurately.
  • What you’ve written requires a lengthy reply,
  •   » Read more

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Who Started It?

The other morning, I woke to the feel of Skyspook’s arms, my own voice murmuring I loved him, his happy sighs, nuzzling each other, kissing. Our bodies were intertwined, a single flat sheet wrapped around us.

Neither of us knows who started it, who woke the other up. Whoever initiated the affection was surely asleep when it happened.  » Read more

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Doing My Best?

Soon, I’m going back to school. Skyspook’s work life and career are absolutely crazy these days. I’m going to have new responsibilities as a full-time student, and with Skyspook so busy, my domestic duties will be even more crucial. As we’re shifting into a new phase as a couple, it’s tough to know precisely what is expected of me.  » Read more

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