“I’m a fraud and others will find out”
There it is, right in the “FEARS” worksheet. Fuck you, Step 4. Moral Inventory bullshit. I wince, feel the rage rise up within me. I sigh.
Whenever I experience this level of anger, what’s being said is either very true or very untrue. » Read more
I’d rather not have children. Ever.
I actually like children well enough and would love to do some mentoring or teaching, but parenting’s not my dream, and it’s so pervasive in a person’s life that if it’s not my dream, I think I’ll pass because it would only end in my misery and emotional martyrdom. » Read more
“A man who survived jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge said, ‘I can still see my hands coming off the railing…I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable — except for having just jumped.’”
-Paul Austin, Something for the Pain
I got divorced yesterday. » Read more
My birthday’s this week, and my friend Crystal sent me the most adorable present. I’m a telecommuter and am in the process of turning my at-home office into a full-blown “girl cave” – like the one the Sexy Librarian has and I got to drool over recently. Clothes, shoes, probably a vanity, » Read more
Ex-Husband used to have a difficult time falling asleep because he’d often find himself awake, fearing death. Fear of dying plagued his existence. I really don’t worry about death much. I worry more about debility or mutilation – be it loss of a limb through amputation or traumatic brain injury.
I am quite familiar with many of the pragmatics involved. » Read more
A custom warning label I made for Skyspook a while back using one of those online generator sites I found with StumbleUpon. I thought it sporting to warn him. » Read more
I nearly break my ankle on my nephew’s robot dog as I walk in. Its eyes are glassy, and I shouldn’t see anything in them at all, but I feel like they’re sizing me up. I hear heavy footsteps from the kitchen, and then my sister emerges, “Hey.”
“Hey.” » Read more
One of the refreshing aspects of my 24/7 dynamic with Skyspook is that we do what feels right, communicate, carve out the rules, protocols, and behaviors that feel natural to us.
I, for one, love orders. Love, love, love when Skyspook tells me to do something. That was actually one of the things that tipped me off that I had more of a slave orientation rather than just submissive masochism for pain scenes, » Read more
As of late, I’ve joined a number of forums on Fetlife geared towards slaves, so I can read posts by other people who are interested in the kind of arrangement I’m working toward for a number of reasons. Emotional validation, ideas, learning from the experience of other slaves.
It’s been interesting to say the least. » Read more
I’m a pervert. My best friends are perverts. Virtually everyone I interact with on a daily basis these days is a pervert.
That doesn’t mean we’re creepy about it. All shifty eyes, predatory, or rife with shame.
Cheeky, yes. Creepy, no.
Mistress Joanne: “No one can shame you if you are not ashamed.”
I live by these words. » Read more