Key Things to Keep in Mind About Happiness
(from Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert)
1) We often exaggerate in imagining the long-term emotional effects certain events will have on us.
2) Most of us tend to have a basic level of happiness which we revert to eventually. » Read more
On the rare occasions that I happen to talk to vanilla people about BDSM, it’s always quite eye opening. One thing I hear a lot is they could see themselves enjoying giving such a beating or doling out orders, that it seems fun. But getting a beating or following orders…? Dream on, Pokemon. » Read more
Poly Question 1.6
How do I define commitment? Is it possible for me to commit to more than one person at a time, and if so, what would those commitments look like?
“There is no such thing as a lover’s oath.”
From “Worse is Better and Better, » Read more
“That reminds me of someone I used to date who…”
I used to do this so often that Seth and Megan got so they could anticipate when it was about to happen. I’d get this look on my face, nostalgic with a little thrill, as though a memory had been sparked back to life. » Read more
It’s a painful kind of limbo, being extremely physically attracted to someone, all the while knowing if I actually had to be in a relationship with them, odds are I would be constructing a morning star from large unopened ravioli cans and wailing them in the head before the end of the first week. » Read more
Poly Question 1.5
How important is transparency to me? If I have more than one lover, am I happy with them knowing about each other? If they have other lovers, am I happy knowing them?
The importance of transparency for me is very context dependent.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Sucks
I could never have an ongoing romantic relationship with someone who would not meet Skyspook. » Read more
Poly Question 1.4
What do I want from my romantic life? Am I open to multiple sexual relationships, romantic relationships, or both? If I want more than one lover, what degree of closeness and intimacy do I expect, and what do I offer? » Read more
Poly Question 1.3
How important is my desire for multiple romantic relationships?
I don’t know that I desire multiple romantic relationships. Rather, they just sort of keep happening to me, a natural byproduct of remaining open to meaningful connections with the world outside of myself, which, frankly, includes a lot of people. » Read more
Poly Question 1.2
Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”
-Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”
At 8 years old, » Read more
Photo by usfwsnortheast /CC BY
Poly Question 1.1
Have I ever felt romantic love for more than one person at the same time?
A beam of light pierced me through the van window, and I came to, suddenly. The sun had shifted in the early morning hours, » Read more