Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
Skyspook Falls Through the Stairs
My phone buzzes on the desk. I scoop it up. It usually would have been in my cardigan pocket, but I’m off my game. Doing everything in the wrong order.
It’s a text from Skyspook. Be careful on the way home. People are being stupid on the road. » Read more
I’ll admit it. I think polyamory is pretty awesome. But what isn’t awesome? Unrealistic expectations.
Unfortunately, a lot of folks new to polyamory approach it expecting it to be a cure-all for their relationship issues.
Here are 8 things that polyamory doesn’t fix:
1. Polyamory Doesn’t Get Rid of Breakups
In fact, » Read more
One of the best ways to be successful in polyamory? Surround yourself with people whose judgement you trust.
As I mentioned in a previous post on setting boundaries with partners and metamours, it’s important to be able to trust your partners to make good decisions.
Because while systemic consultation definitely has its benefits (surely some poly person has stitched COMMUNICATE ~ COMMUNICATE ~ COMMUNICATE on a sampler or two by now), » Read more
PQ 3.3 — Does my decision impose obligations or expectations on others without their input or consent?
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That distinction between setting a personal boundary and controlling behavior? It’s a paradox. In some ways, it’s so simple. Asserting boundaries is about establishing what you are or are not okay with. » Read more
“What’s wrong, Pete?” I ask.
He’s staring at his phone with a far-away look. Like it’s done something to him. “Just a second,” he says. He gets up, grabs a beer from the fridge. “You want anything?”
“Sure,” I say.
He hands me one of those sissy flavored malt things that I love, » Read more
I think we’ve all been there. Sitting there, struggling over a particularly difficult problem. Pulling out our hair. Asking ourselves What the HELL are we going to do about this?
It feels like we’re making absolutely no progress.
And then we take a break. Do something else. Y’know. » Read more
Sika Cancels Sexile
I glance at my phone. A text from my metamour Sika.
I was just texting Skyspook trying to figure out scheduling for this weekend, and apparently both you and I are trying not to be intrusive. I just wanted to let you know that 1. You are such an awesome metamour, » Read more
My girlfriend and I have been together over 3 years. We’ve been through a lot. Big life stuff. We even split up once.
When we got back together this last time, we fought a lot. We’re both manic depressive. But then things got a WHOLE LOT better. We were finally back on track after a lot of anguish. » Read more
“You’re polyamorous?” she asks me.
I nod. “Yup, been poly for a while now.”
“What’s poly?” she asks.
I explain polyamory. The concept of openness to multiple committed, loving relationships. Ethical non-monogamy. And the broad strokes of how it plays in my own life.
She clutches her husband’s arm. » Read more
PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory — » Read more
