Weighty Matters

a person in a blue bikini, leading another person across a sandy beach

Dieting has been very much a part of my psyche since I first started going to Weight Watchers meetings at 3 years old. I found the brochures exquisite, color-coded, graduating through a program whose logical progression appeased my young brain’s need for order. They were the first thing I read. While my mother made copious notes on a legal pad,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Yes, I’m the Crazy Ex

I have a bounty of exes, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, now even an ex-husband.

In short, I’m a lot of people’s crazy ex.

I love so hard it hurts.

I spent my childhood terribly lonely. I was out in the country, far from my school friends. The other members of my household found me obnoxious and weird,  » Read more

Continue Reading

I wrote a story

Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in a long time. I wrote a short story. Fiction and I haven’t been on speaking terms in quite some time. Not that fiction “speaks” per se (though a case could be made if one were so inclined), but you know what I mean. I was trying to figure it out today.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Acceptance is Scary

“Thank you,” I gasp, collapsing beside him on the bed.

He raises an eyebrow, even though his face is flooded with afterglow. “Thank you.”

It is a dream to be so savored, to have my perversion welcomed, to sleep bundled by warm arms, to be asked what’s wrong, invited to discuss my troubles,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Wish List

Our psychological and emotional positions in the sadomasochist realm firmly established, I’d broached the topic of D/s. I wanted to know where we were going.

“Well, what do you want?” he asked me.

It was a simple question, but for some reason I found myself unable to answer him. I find this to be the case when I care too much about what I’m about to say—I clam up,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Us

I’ve loved you a season now.

Somehow your eyes are growing softer and brighter with time and the colors around us more vibrant.

This new us is one where I know myself, where I stay intact, not bled into the fabric of “the couple.” I see myself, I see you –  » Read more

Continue Reading

Yes

Last night, you told me that prosody was my strong suit and drew a heart in black ink on my shoulder with your good pen before handing it to me so I could write. I wanted to write something. I did. You were lying next to me reading your novel, and I could feel your presence.  » Read more

Continue Reading

sexual compass

Sexual Orientation

I am attracted to people in general. I don’t have a preference when it comes to gonads.

There is also a wide range to what I’m attracted to in terms of secondary sex characteristics and physical attributes and that I lack clear preferences to those as well (height, degree of body hair,  » Read more

Continue Reading