"I'm not Needy, I'm Wanty" written in fancy script

One of the things that’s very common in poly circles is the idea that multiple relationships allow you to meet different needs that are unreasonable to ask one relationship to meet. It’s often cited as not only the justification for expending more energy to maintain more than one relationship at a time but a reason why polyamory is superior to monogamy.  » Read more

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Pair of White Cards

There are times when, for whatever reason, you end up at places you didn’t know existed. Part of this is undoubtedly the limited number of cultural narratives and how they butt up sharply against the richness and variety of actual life experience.

And part of this? Life, at least the one I’ve lived,  » Read more

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This marriage is very different from my first. I can almost always count on Skypook, and I could never count on Seth (seriously, almost never in practice), but on the same token, Seth was such a screw-up that it was basically impossible to disappoint him. Well, maybe that’s not true. Seth would get all outraged and stuff when we were out of money and judge me for making dicey financial choices to get us through hard times (while he was simultaneously not working and frittering away large sums of money on frivolous extras),  » Read more

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One afternoon as I rode the bus home from middle school, the bus driver, who often liked to listen to the radio as she drove, cranked “I Touch Myself” by the diVINYLS up to full volume as a peculiar smile crept over her face. Thank goodness for the 90’s station (Sirius XM) for bringing such memories to the surface.  » Read more

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Unforeseen upside of fasting during the day: I can’t drop food on my nice work clothes while I’m distractedly working through lunch and eating like a viking (which is totally my M.O.).  » Read more

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Food Pushers

I have somehow become the resident office food curmudgeon. If I ate every bit of pizza or birthday cake my co-workers try to push on me, it would be enough that even dieting and exercising diligently, I’d have a hard time losing weight. I *might* be able to manage a bit of loss even so,  » Read more

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Here are four terms that are used in such conflicting ways as to greatly limit their usefulness:

  • High maintenance
  • Co-dependent
  • Bullying
  • Enabling

Through reviewing the available research and interfacing professionally with specialists in these realms, I’ve noticed there is very little consensus on their actual meaning and proper application to people and behaviors.  » Read more

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Mighty, Mighty Good Man

I was listening to the 90’s station on the morning drive in, and Salt ‘N’ Pepa’s “Whatta Man” (featuring En Vogue) came on. Instant wall of nostalgia — I was back in junior high, busting moves to it with all of my friends. As I rapped along with the song merging onto the highway, filtered through my adult perspective,  » Read more

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Attack of the Killer Cleavage

Camis (camisoles) are typically pretty handy for cleavage concealment (crucial in most office settings), and while I admit that they do help mitigate the effect, I find that I will often have residual cleavage peeking out from beneath the cami. It would appear that even my cleavage has cleavage – like some demented recursive Escher funhouse of boobs.  » Read more

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