“That’s Not Poly”: Polyamorous Sex Negativity and the Relationship Escalator

a rainbow escalator (used to signify the diversity of relationships that are possible if we get away from sex negativity in polyamory)
Image by Graham C99 / CC BY

Polyamorous Controversy Over “Benefits”

As readers responded to our recent post 7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous on social media, one debunked myth quickly emerged as the most controversial:

4. If you have flings, you’re not polyamorous.

Some other folks may feel differently about this, but for me polyamory is about radical openness to whatever happens to develop.  » Read more

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Assertiveness as Honesty Exchange: Sender to Receiver and Back Again

the recycling symbol (3 areas all pointing towards one another, forming a triangle) with white arrows on a green background
Image by Nicolas Raymond / CC BY

When many folks think of assertiveness, they think of sender skills. An assertive person is one who communicates their thoughts and feelings confidently. Openly.

And while this is true, it’s not the entire picture. In practice, the most difficult part of assertive communication is the receiver half.

Because an assertive communicator is not only open to speaking their own truths —  » Read more

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7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous

4 gummy candy hearts dusted with sugar (one red, one yellow, one green, one blue)
Image by Jorge Brazil / CC BY

Polyamory has become much more visible in the last few years. While public acceptance and understanding are increasing, a number of misconceptions still persist about being polyamorous. Here are a few common ones:

1. When you’re polyamorous, you’re always looking for new partners.

No. Just because a person is polyamorous, it doesn’t mean they’re in the market for a new relationship.  » Read more

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When Sex is Cancelled Because You Cry Out Philosophers’ Names in Bed

A surrealist image. A lightning storm rages on against a background of dark clouds. In the foreground are 3 dress forms, but their base is shaped by a tree-like structure, roots or dendrites (of neurons). On these 3 shapes are 3 suits and ties and a floating hat. Under the leftmost hat is a Rubik's cube in the process of being solved. Under the middle hat is a lightbulb. The rightmost hat covers a Rubik's cube that appears to be bursting into light.
Image / CC 0

The Life and Times of a Failed Sapiosexual



  1. (of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.


  1. a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

early 21st century: from Latin sapiens  » Read more
‘wise’ + sexual, on the model of heterosexual and homosexual.

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