I graduated this weekend. The ceremony was long, sweaty, and boring — but at the same time vital, I think, to understanding that a milestone had been reached, that something important had in fact happened.
I’d been so focused on getting into a PhD program that it hadn’t occurred to me until recently that what I was doing at school every day mattered and would amount to something, » Read more
While I’m walking around downtown, a (female) police officer comes up to me and says, “You look nice. You have a nice face. Very nice looking.” I thank her (because I don’t know what else to say) and she walks off. Random though oddly flattering. » Read more
I appear confident, but under the surface I’m afraid.
Disappointment is a persistent low-grade stinging in my chest, churning slowly, like a fist clenching in a space where it doesn’t quite fit.
I fear I always screw things up with him. I never say the right things. How is it that I’ve worked all these years to be pleasing to men, » Read more
But only if they’re good at math. Or writing. Or some other intellectual pursuit.
There are plenty of so-called geeks without any specific talent who are lacking in social skills and/or obsessed with something in particular that leads to encyclopedic knowledge.
You want a smart one. » Read more
I have a confession: I’m a chronic apologizer.
I first became aware that it was a problem when I was a freshman in high school. A senior, one of the trombonists in the jazz ensemble I was playing in, was driving me around in her car, and I reflexively apologized for something small, » Read more
“I mostly feel terrible about not getting into grad school because it was the justification for my not working while I went to school, that I was going to work really hard so I could get accepted somewhere,” I told Spook as we drove home from Chicago.
“That wasn’t it at all,” Spook said. » Read more
Great post about poly that echoes a lot of my own experience. » Read more
It’s been a rough semester. To the total surprise of all of the professors and research advisors rooting for me, I didn’t land a position in a PhD program for next fall, despite all of the things that make me an excellent candidate, lots of research experience, crazy great GRE scores and grades, and glowing recommendations. » Read more
I’m writing this in my head in a hotel room in Chicago. I can’t sleep. I hate it when I’m exhausted and turn in early only to wake up in the middle of the night with my body squarely deciding it’s only interested in a nap, k thx. But here I am.
It’s my first time visiting the city, » Read more
Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.
Me: Oh yeah?
Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.
Me: Ugh, stop that.
Skyspook: And apparently you’re ashamed that you’re proud of that. » Read more