Rock and a Hard Place

Having a mood disorder puts you into a bit of a double bind re: relationships. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.

If your partner hasn’t been through anxiety or depression, they don’t know what it’s like, and many times they’ll be unsupportive, blame you, and say things like “just snap out of it.”  » Read more

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Notes towards “Diary of a Love Slave”

12/23/13

Nothing feels better than letting go, and when I say letting go, I mean completely letting go, letting responsibility bleed from you as effortlessly as losing consciousness when your head hits the pillow. Until I met him, I’d had little opportunity to do that for any length of time.

Going limp requires a high level of security and complete trust in the person holding the reins.  » Read more

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Konami Code

konami codeSkyspook: If you don’t end up getting a career in the field, one day you’ll probably look back and say that you wasted time studying psychology and conducting research, but then I’ll prove you wrong by showing you some of the writing you’ve been doing about it.

Page: Aha! So that’s why you read my blog.  » Read more

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Passing Through

I woke in the morning freezing and shut off the first alarm, my alarm, cuing Skyspook’s normal battery of snoozes.

It had flooded into my mind moments before I opened my eyelids as I shivered and stretched my legs. I’d been dreaming that I’d undergone brain surgery to rid me of my anxiety (a bit more pronounced lately since I’m graduating soon and entering a new phase where things are uncertain),  » Read more

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Trigger Warning: This content criticizes trigger warnings and may be triggering to people.

One of the classes I’m taking this semester as an elective is Adolescent Psychology. I originally signed up because adolescence (defined in this class as spanning the ages 10 to 24 in the average person) is one my favorite periods during the lifespan. Sure, it’s unpleasant and stressful for a lot of people going through it and their parents,  » Read more

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What Remains

Monster was a good kitty.

 

He was ancient, nearly 20, although like many cats, his appearance didn’t betray his age. Had I found him on the street, I would have thought he seemed 10 or so. The legend is that Monster started his life as a kitten hiding in a hot tub enclosure,  » Read more

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Ambition

Last night was the first uncomfortably warm night of the year. We shut the cats out of the bedroom so we could open the window and let some air breeze in while we slept without cat heads banging against the blinds every 2 minutes as they craned through the slats to get a good view of our neighbors’  » Read more

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Identity Negotation

When I was growing up, my mom always used to say, “You’re not weird. You just want to be that way.”

It’s interesting – and something that I think about often. Why is it so easy to dismiss what another person wants to be? What makes some people so sure that they know another person better than that person knows themselves?  » Read more

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…I don’t understand (dream)

I dreamt last night that I got a phone call notifying me that my ex-husband Seth had died. Apparently it had been defending my older sister, who was being attacked by her ex-girlfriend (those two had a contentious break-up themselves involving a court appearance for a restraining order). In dream space, my sister was in the hospital recovering from her extensive injuries.  » Read more

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