Stop Worrying If Things Are Even, or You’ll End Up With a Sad Shrub

a closeup of a dead shrub
Image by oliver.dodd / CC BY

It’s a dangerous road to travel down, comparing yourself to others. It might just be the biggest no-no in polyamory.

Many of us know we shouldn’t be playing the “better this way, better that way” game with our metamours. Wondering how we stack up against the “competition” (and indeed competition and zero sum thinking can be really bad for us).  » Read more

Continue Reading

Paying the Speeding Ticket: Why Self-Compassion Matters in Relationships

a speeding ticket from the state of Tennessee, tacked up on a black background with a blue push pin
Image by Micah Drushal / CC BY

Self-compassion, the ability of a person to forgive themselves when they make mistakes, is more important than self-esteem when it comes to success in life and overall emotional well-being.

Self-compassion is not only important for our individual happiness. It’s also vital in relationships.

The reason for this: People who are low in self-compassion?   » Read more

Continue Reading

A Single Yankee in King Arthur’s Relationship Web: Single and Surrounded by Poly People

a weathered sign that reads "welcome to Camelot," the land of King Arthur
Image by Gareth Judge / CC BY

Today’s post is a guest blog post from my dear friend John. This basically came about because I was chasing the poor guy around and going, “You should write a post for my blog. It’s gotta be super weird being a mono guy surrounded by poly people.”

“Well, more like single,” John would say.  » Read more

Continue Reading