I’ve never been in this situation before and am not sure quite what to do. Even though I’m not a person who does “casual,” I now have a friend with benefits. Polyamory is about love, so I feel shitty about this.
He has been very clear with me that he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. » Read more
PQ 3.5 — Am I imposing consequences that will make others feel unsafe saying no to me?
When I first started talking with Rob, I knew that he and his wife Michelle had been polyamorous for about 8 years. I myself had only been at it a year. Although it had been a truly exciting year. » Read more
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
Bruce Lee, Unlikely Polyamory Master
Oh Bruce Lee, » Read more
One of the hardest things I had to get used to when I opened up my marriage to Seth?
Being okay with being alone for the night.
It’s funny how you get used to always having another person around.
With Seth, the difference was particularly striking. At that time, » Read more
I learned at a very tender young age: Always trust sex advice from gay boys.
So when Fluffy and Pep said, “You have to try this toy! It’s a vibrator for guys that they actually like,” I perked the heck up and listened.
And Pep added, “Either way, » Read more
It’s a dangerous road to travel down, comparing yourself to others. It might just be the biggest no-no in polyamory.
Many of us know we shouldn’t be playing the “better this way, better that way” game with our metamours. Wondering how we stack up against the “competition” (and indeed competition and zero sum thinking can be really bad for us). » Read more
I’m putting away groceries when I glance at the list I so helpfully left on the fridge.
Shit, I forgot to pick up salt.
You can’t cook anything without salt. It’s the oxygen of cooking. Or is that oxygen itself? My metaphors are a lot like my knife cuts. » Read more
Self-compassion, the ability of a person to forgive themselves when they make mistakes, is more important than self-esteem when it comes to success in life and overall emotional well-being.
Self-compassion is not only important for our individual happiness. It’s also vital in relationships.
The reason for this: People who are low in self-compassion? » Read more
PQ 3.4 — Am I seeking to have my needs met at the expense of the well-being of others?
This is another one of the chapter-end questions that seems to be leading the reader towards a few defined paths. It isn’t set up well for an essay, at least not an interesting one. » Read more
Today’s post is a guest blog post from my dear friend John. This basically came about because I was chasing the poor guy around and going, “You should write a post for my blog. It’s gotta be super weird being a mono guy surrounded by poly people.”
“Well, more like single,” John would say. » Read more