I had a dream last night that my ex-boyfriend Rob* randomly showed up for one of our parties. The other guests were instantly uncomfortable. Rob asked to talk to me privately. Despite many disapproving glances, I agreed and went off to another room to talk to him alone.
In the real world, Rob and I had a really shitty breakup, » Read more
No pain, no gain, right? Right.
Right enough anyway, though I suppose that would mean masochists are basically greedy. On second thought, that works. We’re sensation sponges.
I’m back on the diet wagon today. It’s been 2 months since the wedding ceremony, and between the relief that I no longer had to worry about squeezing into my gown and the weather getting colder, » Read more
The bane of my existence has not been that men only want to fuck me, use me as an object of their pleasure.
It is worse than that.
It’s been that I’ve lowered myself repeatedly to that level, only to have them reject me in my base state.
In those moments, » Read more
I need to write about this because one day I’ll have worked everything out and be so far beyond my current troubles that I’ll forget how I got past this point.
I can hazard a guess, but I don’t know for sure exactly when or why everything changed. Somehow somewhere along the line I stopped listening to my emotions, » Read more
Being confronted with your past self is quite an eerie experience.
Many of my close friends know that my email inbox is a nightmare, completely bloated with old messages, because I never erase or even read anything that isn’t directly sent to me or looks somewhat interesting to me at any given time. » Read more
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
from T. S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”
I’ve been meaning for quite some time to write more about fisting. The trouble is that my words often fail to do justice to the reverence I have for the act, » Read more
Well, this is exciting! This morning I finished the first draft of the book I’ve been writing, the memoir about my (now-defunct) open marriage. I managed to end up with a longer manuscript than I’d anticipated and finished 6 weeks ahead of schedule. Fantastic!
Skyspook and I are looking into formats and such for Kindle sales and the like so I can get everything squared away in the second draft (which will address typos, » Read more
I was reading an interesting text today by E. Tory Higgins, Beyond Pleasure and Pain: How Motivation Works, when I stumbled across one of the most cogent cases for the benefits of voluntary enslavement as a small part of a logical case Higgins builds of value, truth, and control being at the very least equally powerful motivators to human beings as pain and pleasure:
“Your sense of control is also sustained if you choose to have someone else make a choice for you. » Read more
“You can buy some new running gear if you want,” Skyspook said.
He’d been looking online at some leggings for winter biking. As he’s too tall for the frame of a standard bike, he had to have one custom built. So he built it himself. From scratch. He researched all the processes involved, » Read more
When you leave, my sternum aches. Aches from you. Aches for you.
Because you rubbed your knuckles there. Or punched me. Or grabbed me.
And because you won’t soon again. » Read more