Today, in Miserable Inventions

I hate ringback tones with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.

I mean, c’mon, do I REALLY need hold music for the part where the call is RINGING? FFS.

Who woke up one morning and thought ringtones + hold music = win? They’re probably rich now, but I hate them.  » Read more

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Not So Fast

I feel heroic when I fast. Maybe it brings out the hunter/gatherer in me. Maybe it’s the challenge. I’m sure part of it is subversive. I like showing food whose boss – and proving to myself I don’t need it every day, all day. Asserting my independence, if you will. Fasting it toughest at work.  » Read more

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Flossing

<The yin and yang of adulthood violently collided this morning as I flossed with a terrible hangover.

<It had been a fantastic evening – at least what I could remember of it. A disconcerting number of fragments were missing like a mirror that had slipped from its mounting and unceremoniously crashed to the floor.  » Read more

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Old is New Again

When I was in grade school, I was friends with a group of the shyest girls at school. My best friend was the soft-spoken daughter of two zoology professors, and when she got headgear, the bullies descended on her with a fury. Looking back, I’m amazed that my reaction as an 8-year-old was to attack the bullies relentlessly,  » Read more

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Mona Lisa

It’s fun to puzzle people. I take this as a sign of progress. I used to feel ashamed when people would point out that things I was doing were different, even if they said it in a relatively nice way (“you’re really interesting,” “I never know what you’re going to say next,” etc), but nowadays it’s amusing.  » Read more

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How We Roll

Me: So I read about this book called Mating in Captivity. One of its basic premises is fascinating. Basically, in relationships there are competing needs of safety and security versus variety and novelty, which produces an inherent conflict that needs to be dealt with, one way or another.

Skyspook: That’s not just relationships,  » Read more

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I Hate Taylor Swift

I hate Taylor Swift.

Okay, not really, but I pretend to – for my father-in-law. It gave us something to talk about, really, as she shimmied on stage in her blingy flapper-style dress, engineered for shaking. We commiserated in that moment, united against a common enemy, a beautiful — albeit overrated – pop star.  » Read more

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Baby’s First Bondage

My first experience with bondage was far from submissive. I was, in fact, quite bossy about the whole affair.

“Strap me down,” I told my girlfriend.

“You sure?” she asked.

After all, it was a king-sized bed, and what height I do have is in my torso. The wrist and ankle cuffs might well have been in the four corners of the country.  » Read more

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