I recently presented at the Beyond the Love conference in Columbus, Ohio. One of the two classes Justin and I taught there was on managing boundaries in polyamory. As part of that topic, we used a model of control where everything falls into one of three buckets:
- Things we can control.
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“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
On September 1, 2016, a year ago today, I converted this site over to a daily blog. And I resolved to myself that I would begin to post here every day. No matter what. No excuses.
It’s a commitment I’ve taken very seriously. And one that hasn’t always been easy to keep. » Read more
PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?
I’ve written a bit about the importance of letting others have privacy in an earlier piece: Buttinski, #1 Metamour, or Compervert: Walking that Fine Line. As I wrote then:
While an overall atmosphere of transparency is a wonderful thing in polyamory (as it can promote understanding and build trust), » Read more
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
“My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory?” he says.
I nod. “When I wrote that book, » Read more
“I don’t know how you do it,” she says.
“Do what?” I say.
“Polyamory,” she says.
“Happily,” I reply.
She laughs. “It just always seems like you have something stressful going on. If it’s not an issue with one of your partners, something’s going on with one of their partners. » Read more
Hope you are well, she writes.
Yup, just writing, I reply.
I love that you say “just writing” as though it’s not one of your passions in life.
Passion Might Be Everything, But It Looks Like Nothing
It might be my passion, » Read more
PTSD Is Like Grieving Your Own Death, Comforting Your Own Ghost
“You should really write fiction again,” Justin says.
I shudder. “Ugh. Why?”
He looks at me curiously. “Because you’ve got a hell of a brain. And your non-fiction is so good. It draws people in. Imagine what you could do with fiction.” » Read more
The first time I saw Secretary, I thought it was basically the hottest thing I had ever seen. That taut wire of erotic tension, and yes, oddly tender intimacy that forms between Maggie Gyllenhaall and James Spader’s characters.
It made me feel awfully damn funny down below. And it gave me the warm fuzzies. » Read more
If you’re anything like me, you run into times where you struggle with self-doubt. Especially when solving problems with ambiguous solutions. Or doing something creative.
And when you’re struggling, you’ll catch yourself midsentence saying something like, “No, no, that’s not right. That’s stupid.”
Redlining your own work over and over again for hours with little to show for your effort. » Read more