I’ll Tell You Everything, But You’ll Never See Dirty Laundry

a dozen or so pairs of blue jeans hanging outside on a clothes line
Image by Patrick Lentz / CC BY

“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I’m trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”

Brené Brown

I Don’t Like to Do Chores in Front of Other People

Like any idiom that’s in common use,  » Read more

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Polymathy Confuses People Just As Much As, If Not More Than, Polyamory

Leonardo da Vinci's self-portrait
Image by MAMJODH / CC BY

I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic

I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved.  » Read more

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Fet Lag: The Time Between Objectification and Respect

a shot of an airport waiting area
Image by Michiel G / CC BY

I cross-post a fair number of Poly.Land articles to FetLife, which is basically Facebook for kinksters.

When you post a new writing on FetLife, it goes to a special category called Fresh & Pervy. There, other users can browse the newest content that people have posted (writing, pictures, videos).

These days I have a large readership on FetLife that is very active and engaged (you rock!),  » Read more

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PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?

A chart labeled "A helpful Venn diagram." There is an orange circle on the left labeled "The Internet" and a green circle on the right labeled "privacy." They do not overlap whatsoever.
Image by Bernard Goldbach / CC BY

PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?


I’ve written a bit about the importance of letting others have privacy in an earlier piece: Buttinski, #1 Metamour, or Compervert: Walking that Fine Line. As I wrote then:

While an overall atmosphere of transparency is a wonderful thing in polyamory (as it can promote understanding and build trust),  » Read more

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