“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I’m trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”
I Don’t Like to Do Chores in Front of Other People
Like any idiom that’s in common use, » Read more
I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic
I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved. » Read more
When I was brand new to polyamory, I read everything I could possibly get my hands on. I gobbled up every guidebook I could find on the subject. And when I was done reading those, I hit the Internet.
There wasn’t nearly as much out there in those days as there is now, » Read more
Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality, while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.
“I read your blog for a while before I read Poly Land, » Read more
I cross-post a fair number of Poly.Land articles to FetLife, which is basically Facebook for kinksters.
When you post a new writing on FetLife, it goes to a special category called Fresh & Pervy. There, other users can browse the newest content that people have posted (writing, pictures, videos).
These days I have a large readership on FetLife that is very active and engaged (you rock!), » Read more
I recently presented at the Beyond the Love conference in Columbus, Ohio. One of the two classes Justin and I taught there was on managing boundaries in polyamory. As part of that topic, we used a model of control where everything falls into one of three buckets:
- Things we can control.
» Read more
“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
On September 1, 2016, a year ago today, I converted this site over to a daily blog. And I resolved to myself that I would begin to post here every day. No matter what. No excuses.
It’s a commitment I’ve taken very seriously. And one that hasn’t always been easy to keep. » Read more
PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?
I’ve written a bit about the importance of letting others have privacy in an earlier piece: Buttinski, #1 Metamour, or Compervert: Walking that Fine Line. As I wrote then:
While an overall atmosphere of transparency is a wonderful thing in polyamory (as it can promote understanding and build trust), » Read more
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
“My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory?” he says.
I nod. “When I wrote that book, » Read more