PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?
In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:
As elsewhere in poly relationships, » Read more
Basically, all advice ever given has the hidden disclaimer “Your mileage may vary, you do you,” attached to it. Even if the writer doesn’t come out and explicitly say it, it’s implied. If enough people read a piece, someone will stumble upon it that will find the contents of the piece unhelpful. It’s expected. » Read more
I’m sitting in the backseat listening to them talk. They’re having a lively conversation.
It makes me think of a story, something from my own life. “Hey guys,” I say.
They don’t hear me. They keep on talking. They’re doing their own thing.
I lean back in my seat and pull out my phone. » Read more
“I’m not sure why people keep saying my pieces are painful to read,” I say to Justin. “I mean, it’s usually a part of a ‘but I love them’ kind of comment. But yeah, they’re always saying they’re painful. And I’m not sure why.”
“It makes them think about themselves and their lives,” » Read more
“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I’m trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”
I Don’t Like to Do Chores in Front of Other People
Like any idiom that’s in common use, » Read more
I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic
I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved. » Read more
When I was brand new to polyamory, I read everything I could possibly get my hands on. I gobbled up every guidebook I could find on the subject. And when I was done reading those, I hit the Internet.
There wasn’t nearly as much out there in those days as there is now, » Read more
Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality, while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.
“I read your blog for a while before I read Poly Land, » Read more
I cross-post a fair number of Poly.Land articles to FetLife, which is basically Facebook for kinksters.
When you post a new writing on FetLife, it goes to a special category called Fresh & Pervy. There, other users can browse the newest content that people have posted (writing, pictures, videos).
These days I have a large readership on FetLife that is very active and engaged (you rock!), » Read more
I recently presented at the Beyond the Love conference in Columbus, Ohio. One of the two classes Justin and I taught there was on managing boundaries in polyamory. As part of that topic, we used a model of control where everything falls into one of three buckets:
- Things we can control.
» Read more