It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. » Read more
I’ve always envied folks who have self-righteous confidence. An unwavering sense that they’re always the good guy in the story, an agent of justice. Who instinctively scream at perceived unfairness, rush head on into it, attacking it with little forethought and certainly no regret.
That’s never been my automatic response — to nearly anything, » Read more
I’ve been reading Poly Land for a while now (first the site and eventually the book). I originally stumbled onto you after you were featured in The Huffington Post in “12 Questions People in Polyamorous Relationships Are Sick of Hearing.” I’ll be honest. I was kind of mad when I saw the article after a friend shared it. » Read more
Two years ago today, I converted this site over to a daily publishing schedule. And I made a public commitment to myself — and to anyone watching at the time — that no matter what, I would publish a new article here every. Single. Day.
For two years, I’ve kept that promise. » Read more
I’ve been reading your blog regularly for a few years now. I love how much of your personal life you share. I would love to do that, but I’m afraid to really put myself out there like that. Do you find that being open with readers has overall been a positive or a negative experience? » Read more
I’m talking with a friend who, like me, has been blogging off and on for years. Recently, she just had her first viral hit.
Viral, of course, is a relative term. There are the modest successes that can feel viral when you’re used to basic obscurity. Perhaps you have a few thousand people visiting your site overnight all looking at the same article, » Read more
PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?
In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:
As elsewhere in poly relationships, » Read more
Basically, all advice ever given has the hidden disclaimer “Your mileage may vary, you do you,” attached to it. Even if the writer doesn’t come out and explicitly say it, it’s implied. If enough people read a piece, someone will stumble upon it that will find the contents of the piece unhelpful. It’s expected. » Read more
I’m sitting in the backseat listening to them talk. They’re having a lively conversation.
It makes me think of a story, something from my own life. “Hey guys,” I say.
They don’t hear me. They keep on talking. They’re doing their own thing.
I lean back in my seat and pull out my phone. » Read more
“I’m not sure why people keep saying my pieces are painful to read,” I say to Justin. “I mean, it’s usually a part of a ‘but I love them’ kind of comment. But yeah, they’re always saying they’re painful. And I’m not sure why.”
“It makes them think about themselves and their lives,” » Read more