“That sounds weird, doesn’t it?” she says. “I’m sorry if it sounds weird. I don’t mean to be so annoying.”
I’ve learned an awful lot from watching people who dismiss experiences unless they’re the one having them. If you keep your eyes open, you’ll see it eventually — people who talk bitterly about one side of an issue, putting others down who feel differently, until life comes and smacks them off their high horse. And they find themselves on the other side, the one that they had always dismissed.
It’s been uncomfortable figuring out the ways I contribute to my own unhappiness… but it’s essential.
It feels truly indulgent to keep doing a hobby that I have zero natural talent for simply because I enjoy it. Weird maybe, but I always felt this pressure to be good at things — and to spend my time doing the things I was good at. Not farting around at something where I’m the world’s slowest learner.
Once you’ve had problems, it’s far easier to backslide. It’s something I’ll likely always be dealing with. Because of my past, I can’t get away with as much.
Not only was I trying to keep myself from falling completely apart, I was doing my best to not offend the people in my life, who took it very personally that I was still struggling with difficult emotions.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better,” I confess, “I’ve asked around, and most folks are going through the same thing, particularly if they’ve been stuck inside a lot. We’re all coming out of stasis feeling a little freezer burned.”
“You’ll get through this,” I told myself. “It won’t always be that way.” And immediately felt annoyed.
The new normal will still probably be kinda weird for a while. Everything won’t be perfect. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your life in the weird “new normal.”