I am lying in the back of an ambulance staring out the back window. Every time I feel our vehicle lurch to a stop, I stare intently at the cars behind us, willing them to stop. “Don’t hit us,” I think. It’s such an intense desire that I’m not sure if I’m saying it aloud or not. » Read more
What They Don’t Tell You About Dating an Abused Person
“Would you be okay with dating someone who was abused?”
“Of course,” most people answer without hesitation. “I’m not going to hold that against them. Why would I?”
Except it’s not about stigma. It’s not about the fact that somehow something bad that happened to a person may have ostensibly “tainted” them, » Read more
Growing Spines
There’s a reason why a cactus has spines. Cacti live and thrive in deserts, one of the harshest classes of biome on the face of the Earth, surrounded by creatures that have adapted to survive those conditions. Their spines not only help dissuade other life forms from eating them but also dramatically increase a cactus’s surface area and allow them to better absorb water from infrequent rains. » Read more
Flare
Due to falling back, the commute home yesterday took place for the first time in darkness. I’ve always done my best thinking in the dark, and last night was no exception. As I was cruising along 77 North with that flamethrower-looking thingie blazing and Terminal Tower all lit up in purple on my left, » Read more
Seen
Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.
Me: Oh yeah?
Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.
Me: Ugh, stop that.
Skyspook: And apparently you’re ashamed that you’re proud of that. » Read more
What Remains
Monster was a good kitty.
He was ancient, nearly 20, although like many cats, his appearance didn’t betray his age. Had I found him on the street, I would have thought he seemed 10 or so. The legend is that Monster started his life as a kitten hiding in a hot tub enclosure, » Read more
Psycho
In September of 2000, I had a psychotic break that resulted in a 2-week stay on an inpatient psych ward after I spent nearly 10 days awake when I left my abusive boyfriend.
The real trauma started when I became lucid and began to heal enough to be discharged home with my parents. » Read more
Happy 2nd Birthday, Divorce!
Despite the fact that I spent most of my life vehemently anti-divorce and swore I’d never get one, divorce was the best thing ever when I actually needed one. It took an impossible situation and turned it into one that was challenging–but not impossible.
You see, I’d stipulated early on in my marriage to Seth that I wouldn’t give up our marriage without a fight — » Read more
“Both suffering for love and being addicted to a relationship are romanticized by our culture… Very few models exist of people relating as peers in healthy, mature, honest, nonmanipulative, and nonexploitative ways, probably for two reasons: First, in all honesty, such relationships in real life are fairly rare. Second, since the quality of emotional interplay in healthy relationships is often much subtler than the blatant drama of unhealthy relationships, » Read more
Happy Endings
This past Christmas, Skyspook gave me a Kindle Touch. Every year, his employer lets them choose a gift from the company from a list of options, and this year, he selected the e-reader and gave it to me along with a gift card to buy accessories and books for it.
When I received the Kindle, » Read more