
When a Bunch of Bad Things Happen, It’s Easy to Think You Deserved It
There’s no way of getting around it. When a bunch of bad things happen, it’s easy to think you deserved it.
There’s no way of getting around it. When a bunch of bad things happen, it’s easy to think you deserved it.
The outer result looks the same whether I’m self-abusing bruteforcing or gentle self-parenting. But it feels completely different inside my head. It makes all the difference.
“It’s all fine and good to just say ‘reframe relationships from a model of scarcity to one of abundance,’ but dude, HOW?”
I struggle a lot with “outsider feelings” even when people get close to me. Will they go away completely one day? I have no way to tell. The important thing is that I don’t let them rule my life.
The best people — the most real people, if you will — are often the ones who believe other people when they point out their flaws.
Sometimes people who would leave you in a heartbeat if it benefitted them (like an employer who does layoffs willy-nilly) will be the most likely to complain that they’re being victimized by an exit.
I’m good at seeing the people who want to be part of something social but are having trouble working out how to jump in. There’s a reason for this — something that shocks people who know me in real life, even some who know me well: I was a lonely kid. I struggle with anxiety myself. And I don’t always feel like I fit in.
It’s the sweetest people I know who are always worried about the impact they have on others, who try to really hard to navigate situations well. And it’s the the bad actors who feel confident driving however they want.
Trying too hard to get a refund on the cost of experience just ends up making you act like a Karen.
We don’t talk about it enough, but the healing process can be really traumatic. Even once you’ve worked past defensiveness and figured out how you want to work through your issues, the difficulty doesn’t stop there. Really, that’s when it begins.
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