In September of 2000, I had a psychotic break that resulted in a 2-week stay on an inpatient psych ward after I spent nearly 10 days awake when I left my abusive boyfriend.
The real trauma started when I became lucid and began to heal enough to be discharged home with my parents. » Read more
Despite the fact that I spent most of my life vehemently anti-divorce and swore I’d never get one, divorce was the best thing ever when I actually needed one. It took an impossible situation and turned it into one that was challenging–but not impossible.
You see, I’d stipulated early on in my marriage to Seth that I wouldn’t give up our marriage without a fight — » Read more
“Both suffering for love and being addicted to a relationship are romanticized by our culture… Very few models exist of people relating as peers in healthy, mature, honest, nonmanipulative, and nonexploitative ways, probably for two reasons: First, in all honesty, such relationships in real life are fairly rare. Second, since the quality of emotional interplay in healthy relationships is often much subtler than the blatant drama of unhealthy relationships, » Read more
This past Christmas, Skyspook gave me a Kindle Touch. Every year, his employer lets them choose a gift from the company from a list of options, and this year, he selected the e-reader and gave it to me along with a gift card to buy accessories and books for it.
When I received the Kindle, » Read more
It isn’t fair that I’m so happy, so safe, secure while you struggle. You were there for a lot of it, for the worst of it, if not directly there, a simple phone call or letter away. I knew I could call you, and you’d drive hours to pick me up, buy me an ice cream cone, » Read more
Because you wrote me your own letter over a decade ago as part of Step 9, and the one I drafted so quickly in reply was in gentle terms disingenuous, in bolder terms, a lie. I forgave you, or at least voiced my forgiveness to you, then because I wanted you better, needed you better. » Read more
I’ve been living in the city just over a year now after a life spent largely in small towns in Central Maine.
There are many differences between where I was and where I am now, some of them obvious. For example, Eastern Seaboard roads are quite narrow in a way that roads here in the Midwest are not. » Read more
The last few years of our marriage, Ex-Husband used to say that people were taken with me only because they didn’t know me very well, that the problems between the two of us were caused by his knowing “the true me,” and that after any significant length of time anyone I was with romantically would have similar complaints and that I’d run into the same problems over and over again. » Read more
This is an essay posted elsewhere that I’ve decided to put up here so I can reference and refer to it – as it deals with some things I know I’ll be writing about in the near future. Until the divorce was finalized (an event that took place over a month ago now), I didn’t want to openly post too much nitty gritty, » Read more
“How do we know who we are sexually, what sex even is?”
This is one of those stupid questions I ask curled in the fetal position.
“We just do. We just feel it,” or some variant is the answer I’ve been given time and time again, » Read more