What They Don’t Tell You About Dating an Abused Person, Part 2 — “You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

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“You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

I think or say this more often that I would like to. Usually it’s when I’m talking to my husband, and it always underscores to me that while I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years,  » Read more

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Hypervigilance

I am lying in the back of an ambulance staring out the back window. Every time I feel our vehicle lurch to a stop, I stare intently at the cars behind us, willing them to stop. “Don’t hit us,” I think. It’s such an intense desire that I’m not sure if I’m saying it aloud or not.  » Read more

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Growing Spines

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There’s a reason why a cactus has spines. Cacti live and thrive in deserts, one of the harshest classes of biome on the face of the Earth, surrounded by creatures that have adapted to survive those conditions. Their spines not only help dissuade other life forms from eating them but also dramatically increase a cactus’s surface area and allow them to better absorb water from infrequent rains.  » Read more

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Flare

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Due to falling back, the commute home yesterday took place for the first time in darkness. I’ve always done my best thinking in the dark, and last night was no exception. As I was cruising along 77 North with that flamethrower-looking thingie blazing and Terminal Tower all lit up in purple on my left,  » Read more

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Seen

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Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.

Me: Oh yeah?

Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.

Me: Ugh, stop that.

Skyspook: And apparently you’re ashamed that you’re proud of that.  » Read more

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What Remains

Monster was a good kitty.

 

He was ancient, nearly 20, although like many cats, his appearance didn’t betray his age. Had I found him on the street, I would have thought he seemed 10 or so. The legend is that Monster started his life as a kitten hiding in a hot tub enclosure,  » Read more

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Psycho

In September of 2000, I had a psychotic break that resulted in a 2-week stay on an inpatient psych ward after I spent nearly 10 days awake when I left my abusive boyfriend.

The real trauma started when I became lucid and began to heal enough to be discharged home with my parents.  » Read more

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Happy 2nd Birthday, Divorce!

Despite the fact that I spent most of my life vehemently anti-divorce and swore I’d never get one, divorce was the best thing ever when I actually needed one.  It took an impossible situation and turned it into one that was challenging–but not impossible.

You see, I’d stipulated early on in my marriage to Seth that I wouldn’t give up our marriage without a fight —  » Read more

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