I learned a long time ago that when you want to express your condolences to someone who is grieving a death, simple is best. Especially if you don’t know them all that well. Or you aren’t familiar with the situation.
Keep it simple. “I’m sorry for your loss” is fine.
Now, » Read more
“I just realized why an artist creates something they never show anybody else,” he says.
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“It’s about loving yourself. Because you create it for yourself,” he says.
I don’t know quite how to explain it to him. How that explanation really makes no sense to me, » Read more
Someone I love very much passed away last week. Even as I type those words, I want to delete them. Because I don’t want to talk about it. Not at all and certainly not in public. Because I don’t write well enough to do the experience the justice it deserves (especially not now, as I’m more existing than really living). » Read more
It’d be a really odd notion to my younger self, particularly the wild mess of emotions I evolved into temporarily in my teens and early 20s, that I’m a planner.
But these days, I most certainly am. I’m a planner. And not always in ways that are adaptive and serve me. But sometimes illogically. » Read more
I have a routine every time I take out the trash. Because the trash goes to a shared recycling center. One that other people in my apartment building use.
I put on a new set of clothes. Open shared doors not with my hands but by using my shirt sleeve wrapped around the handle. » Read more
Pain is fairly binary. While it’s true that some things can hurt more than others, even a relatively small setback at the wrong time can be devastating and painful. And honestly, as someone who suffered some fairly major setbacks as a young woman, I can tell you that there’s an upper limit to pain. » Read more
It’s late. We should already be in bed. But you’re working yet another long day. Doing your best to help. Like always. That’s always been you. No matter what, you feel better if you’re engaged, if you’re doing something. And especially if you’re helping.
It comes out in little ways, in everyday life. » Read more
“If you want people to like you,” my mother said. “Be quiet and smile.”
“People love a mystery,” she advised. “And when they don’t know who you are, they fill in the gaps with good stuff.”
That was her advice to me. And for her, it certainly worked. She was a cheerleader in high school. » Read more
I think everyone’s been asked one of the following hypotheticals — or something else like them:
What would do if it were the last day on Earth?
If you only had an hour left before the world ended, what would you do?
The trouble with all of those hypotheticals is that they require for us to definitively know the world is ending. » Read more
“This is a weird and difficult time to be polyamorous,” he says.
And I know what he means. I’m not sure what to do with it all. With any of it.
It’s tempting at times like these to come up with a quick answer that sounds good. To make up flowcharts or guides that address the problems we want to have rather than the ones we actually have. » Read more