Surviving abuse can be one of the most lonely experiences there is.
That’s because in most people’s eyes, you can’t claim your abuse without naming your abuser. The suffering is real, but unless you have a bona fide monster to pin it on, it gets argued away (see just world bias). » Read more
I learned something in the coat room in elementary school.
If they can, people will touch your body without permission.
Especially if it’s dark. And quick. And there are enough people around that you can’t be sure who exactly touched you. Let alone call them out on it.
Sometimes more than one kid would cop a feel as we shuffled out to meet our teacher, » Read more
“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
“God hath given you one face, and you make yourself another.”
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet
On countless mornings, I glimpse my reflection in the mirror and want to punch myself in the face.
Because I look like her at certain angles.
Her chin, » Read more
PTSD Is Like Grieving Your Own Death, Comforting Your Own Ghost
“You should really write fiction again,” Justin says.
I shudder. “Ugh. Why?”
He looks at me curiously. “Because you’ve got a hell of a brain. And your non-fiction is so good. It draws people in. Imagine what you could do with fiction.” » Read more
I’m thinking about Charlie Howard again. Although queer kids from Maine don’t really stop thinking about him.
If you’ve read Stephen King’s It (or watched the miniseries from the 90’s), you may be familiar with the scene where teenagers throw a gay man into the river.
But it’s not just a horrific scene. » Read more
I had my tonsils out as an adult. It’s a brutal recovery. Most people don’t know this because they think of a tonsillectomy as something kids do. A few days in bed with all the ice cream you can eat, and then you’re right as rain.
But adults don’t heal like kids do. » Read more
The geese are extra territorial at the zoo. “Must be mating season,” I say.
Skyspook nods. “The start of it anyway.”
A cacophony of honks explodes in the air. Jockeying for mates.
There are so many ducks on the water. Most of them are acting up, just like the geese. » Read more
PQ 4.7 — In what ways do I protect myself from being hurt? Do those strategies help or hinder my search for connection?
I know it’s folly to forever wait for the punch. To flinch against blows that aren’t coming. On the off chance that they might.
And yet, » Read more
“It is good people who make good places.”
The first few weeks of December always make me think of my great aunt Georgie.
I have no real memories of Grammy, her sister. Everything I do know about Grammy comes from scraps Grampy would tell me. » Read more