For Better or Worse, You Don’t Get to Control How Other People See You

a closeup of a pair of glasses
Image by Brett Bolkowy / CC BY

I’m sitting in a pew, attending mass at the church I attended growing up.

It’s been 7 years since I went to a service here, on another visit to my hometown, but surprisingly little has changed since then.

Actually, surprisingly little has changed from 30 years ago, when I was a small child doing my best to remain quiet and tolerate the unending boredom,  » Read more

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Pain Never Gets Any Better Unless You Confront It & Even Then It Still Takes A Very Long Time

a lit candle burning
Image by firemedic58 / CC BY

“What you do,” he said, “is just lie there with your thoughts. Don’t judge them. Just let them happen. Let yourself feel everything you’re feeling. Think everything you’re thinking. Without distraction.”

He didn’t call it mindfulness then. I wouldn’t learn that word until much later. From someone else.

Instead, my first fraught dance with my own mind wouldn’t have a name.  » Read more

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Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: I Didn’t Want to Change

a very mopey-looking bulldog lying on concrete
Image by psyberartist / CC BY

As I’ve written many times, I’m a recovering people pleaser.

On confident days, I find myself venturing the idea that I am a recovered people pleaser. But then I decide that’s how they get you. You get complacent and assume you are forever changed, and then you’re slipping back into the old ways.  » Read more

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Those Moments When I Worry I’m Just a Very Intelligent Digestive System

a needlepoint featuring the digestive system
Image by Hey Paul Studios / CC BY

“I bet there’s good stuff to eat there,” the voice on the phone says.

I sigh. “Yeah, a ton of restaurants.” Because it’s true. Just like I was amazed by the wide array of offerings available to me when I moved from Central Maine to Cleveland, it’d be hard to not notice how many more restaurants there are in Dallas-Fort Worth,  » Read more

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Dumped & Depressed: “You Wouldn’t Leave Someone With Cancer,” He Said.

a closeup of a horse on a merry go round
Image by Ariane Hunter / CC BY

“You wouldn’t leave someone with cancer,” he said.

She blinked, not quite sure she was hearing what she was hearing. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’re breaking up with me because I have depression,” he said. “That’s wrong. Not only is it wrong, it’s cruel. I never thought you were someone who would do something like that.  » Read more

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