I’ve found myself wondering a lot lately how so many people can be comfortable taking needless risks in the face of COVID-19. One study I’ve covered found a link between sociopathy and mask shunning. (Yeah, kind of a sensational premise maybe but if the shoe fits…)
But you have to be careful about painting people all with the same brush. » Read more
When I was 19 years old, I wound up in an abusive relationship. Kurt was 32 years old. He’d lived in multiple states. This really impressed me at the time. It was only later that I’d find out that he moved around because of legal trouble. And that he’d wound up living in Maine (where I grew up and where I met him) because Kurt had sought out his brother who had built a comfortable life for himself, » Read more
Once upon a time, I thought that I would become secure if the right people just said the right words the right number of times. Like a magic spell, an incantation of love, all of the deficiencies within me — my wrongs — would be righted, if someone close to me only told me what I needed to hear. » Read more
I used to be in such a hurry. All of the time.
I hurried even when I had nothing really going on. Heck, especially when I had nothing going on. In moments that should have been relaxing. At times that I was doing something I enjoyed.
When I was sitting talking with someone, » Read more
I’ve been in near-complete lockdown since mid March of 2020. This is because I work from home (and so does my partner).
My family of origin and in-laws both live hundreds of miles away cross-country, so there’s little pressure to do any in-person gatherings because the logistics are a bit daunting even in non-COVID times. » Read more
I am lying in bed trying to ignore the heaviness in my stomach. From stress. So much stress.
I’m rereading a book from The Baby-Sitters Club series. I had no idea growing up that there were 131 of them. I had a semi-random assortment of them, picked up at yard sales. » Read more
I wake up from a nightmare, as I normally do, freezing and with a full bladder. It’s dark outside. There’s a storm underway. Thunder booms. Lightning crashes while I use the bathroom.
I wrap myself in more blankets as I go back to bed, trying to get warm. As dark as it is, » Read more
From 2011 to 2012, I underwent the most intensive course of therapy I have ever gone through in my life. What’s interesting is that I didn’t go all that often. Every other week most of the time — as that was what I could afford at the time, and even then I barely afforded it, » Read more
I wonder what it’s like to just know what you’re doing. Or at least to always feel like you do.
To just show up and fit into things and take it for granted that you will fit and that you’ll know what to do when you get there and not make a fool of yourself. » Read more
The last several months, it’s been hard to escape futility. I try not to spend a lot of time wallowing in darkness because I find it doesn’t work out well for me. But if I’m being honest, there have been plenty of days when it’s been hard to update this blog.
And that’s because as much as I don’t like to wallow in despair myself, » Read more