Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
It’s late. We should already be in bed. But you’re working yet another long day. Doing your best to help. Like always. That’s always been you. No matter what, you feel better if you’re engaged, if you’re doing something. And especially if you’re helping.
It comes out in little ways, in everyday life. » Read more
“If you want people to like you,” my mother said. “Be quiet and smile.”
“People love a mystery,” she advised. “And when they don’t know who you are, they fill in the gaps with good stuff.”
That was her advice to me. And for her, it certainly worked. She was a cheerleader in high school. » Read more
I think everyone’s been asked one of the following hypotheticals — or something else like them:
What would do if it were the last day on Earth?
If you only had an hour left before the world ended, what would you do?
The trouble with all of those hypotheticals is that they require for us to definitively know the world is ending. » Read more
“This is a weird and difficult time to be polyamorous,” he says.
And I know what he means. I’m not sure what to do with it all. With any of it.
It’s tempting at times like these to come up with a quick answer that sounds good. To make up flowcharts or guides that address the problems we want to have rather than the ones we actually have. » Read more
Once upon a time, I thought the world revolved around me.
What a thing to say, right? Such arrogance.
A lot of times when people say that someone thinks the world revolves around them, they mean that the person expects special favors or extra good treatment from the universe.
I’ve never really experienced that kind of feeling when it came to the world revolving around me. » Read more
Universe, when we were all going around saying “today is cancelled” every time we had a bad day, we didn’t really mean it.
We weren’t being this literal.
But as it turns out, today is actually cancelled. In my life, the entire next week is cancelled. Possibly the next fortnight (we’ll see). » Read more
There were no formerly heroic times, and there was no formerly pure generation. There is no one here but us chickens, and so it has always been: A people busy and powerful, knowledgeable, ambivalent, important, fearful, and self-aware; a people who scheme, promote, deceive, and conquer; who pray for their loved ones, and long to flee misery and skip death. » Read more
“If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else” is something that other people basically never stop saying. Only people with high self-esteem (positive self-regard) can truly engage in healthy, long-lasting relationships, people claim. The rest of the world is out of luck. Doomed to failed relationships and/or a life alone.
And like anything that gets said over and over again, » Read more
“Look with your eyes, not with your hands.”
I can’t remember how many times I heard that growing up. Particularly as I walked through stores with my mother.
The warning was warranted of course. Stores were inevitably crammed full of things I found fascinating. And like most small children, I felt an urge to reach out and touch things that captivated my interest. » Read more
“No matter what, you gotta find a way to love yourself,” she says. “Because self-love’s where it’s at. That’s where the real good stuff is.”
And yet every time I talk to her, she confesses that she’s unhappy with other people, in spite of nailing the self-love stuff. “I know I’m the shit,” » Read more
