“I had sexy dreams about you,” he murmurs from that half-awake place as I wrap my arms around him.
“You’re a walking sex dream to me,” I reply.
I slip away, out the door. Time for the drive again, as it always is. Three highways out, four highways back. The sunrise yawns open. » Read more
Learning that the term “crapshoot” was derived from a roll of the dice in a casino game and not simply an alternate name for the rectum (i.e., the “poop chute”) used idiomatically to denote unpredictability was inordinately disappointing in such a way that it’s been about 20 years since I realized this, and I still remember it vividly. » Read more
Note to self: Stop taking gardening tips from Harvest Moon. Digital plants and leafy ones are, in fact, different.
For example, in HM you must water your plants every day that it’s not actively raining. In real life, you can apparently let them chill for a few days after a big rain storm. » Read more
While I’m walking around downtown, a (female) police officer comes up to me and says, “You look nice. You have a nice face. Very nice looking.” I thank her (because I don’t know what else to say) and she walks off. Random though oddly flattering. » Read more
I love to title things. It’s a sickness. I think that’s half the reason I first got into poetry. The works are typically so short that you’re titling things all the damn time.
And it’s not just titles. I love making up extra nicknames for people, inventing words. And if you want to have a relationship with me without my calling it something, » Read more
Got an abusive partner or ex-partner who keeps trying to get under your skin by telling you how crazy you are, calling you a psycho? Try this one on for size: “Yeah, I’m psycho. If I’m psycho, then you’re a hallucination because the only reason I’m crazy is I keep seeing you.” » Read more
If you want results, go to the gym with a sadist.
“Awww, whatsa matter? You can do more reps than that.”
“I… hate… you…”
“Oh? What’s that you say? Five more pounds?”
He corrects my form, » Read more
Rush Limbaugh’s comments are offensive to those of us who have worked hard to become the whores we are.
He dishes out the label too easily – it’s like calling anybody who can cook a “chef.” » Read more
I’ve decided that the recipe for unhappiness is requiring other people for your sense of closure. » Read more