Bisexuality, Islands of Desire, and Invisible Polyamory

an aerial view of a string of forested islands
Image by Lau Svensson / CC BY

Invisible Polyamory

Skyspook and I have been charting my polyamorous web chart for the second book (Update: it’s out!). A map of my current relationship system, with all of my partners’ partners and so on. Taken as a whole, it looks hopelessly complicated.

But it never feels that way. These days it’s a pretty stable system.  » Read more

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Proximity, Social Pressure, and Same Sex Erasure in Polyamorous Relationships

a picture of a park bench with the words "this seat taken" and a downward pointing arrow written on it
Image by JapanBlack / CC BY

Today’s guest post is from LH, a poly, kinky, queer lady, who identifies as a lesbian. She feels lucky to have found a primary partner who is sweet and loving and makes her feel valued, and a secondary partner whose steady support is a foundation for her. She has been challenged and grown a lot safely,  » Read more

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We Were All Charlie Howard: Growing Up a Queer Anyone in Maine

a hand with bluish-people ink stains on the fingers
Image by SamFowler / CC BY

With a new film treatment of It coming out this fall, I’m thinking about Charlie Howard again. Although queer kids from Maine don’t really stop thinking about him.

If you’ve read Stephen King’s It (or watched the miniseries from the 90’s), you may be familiar with the scene where teenagers throw a gay man into the river.  » Read more

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To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary

A venn diagram up above a cityscape. One of the circles says "yes," the other says "no." The overlap between the two is labeled "me."
Image by Terminals & Gates / CC BY

Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.

While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.

Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist.  » Read more

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When Sex is Cancelled Because You Cry Out Philosophers’ Names in Bed

A surrealist image. A lightning storm rages on against a background of dark clouds. In the foreground are 3 dress forms, but their base is shaped by a tree-like structure, roots or dendrites (of neurons). On these 3 shapes are 3 suits and ties and a floating hat. Under the leftmost hat is a Rubik's cube in the process of being solved. Under the middle hat is a lightbulb. The rightmost hat covers a Rubik's cube that appears to be bursting into light.
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The Life and Times of a Failed Sapiosexual
sa·pi·o·sex·u·al

/ˌsāpēōˈsekSH(o͞o)əl/

adjective

  1. (of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

noun

  1. a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

Origin
early 21st century: from Latin sapiens  » Read more
‘wise’ + sexual, on the model of heterosexual and homosexual.

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Sexual Fluidity: Sailing Polyamory Through Uncharted Waters

a large galleon (old-fashioned ship with 2 large masts) is docked at a harbor
Image by Rob Bixby / CC BY

“What prompted the ‘biphobic’ comment from a reader?” they ask me.

I laugh. “That was several months ago. It was in response to this post. I admit in the piece I was near the line, and I knew it would be controversial. I was encouraged by several other queer people to write it because they wanted to but feared the backlash.”  » Read more

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So You Think You’re Hypersexual: Living Up to the Hype

large balloon letters of blue graffiti paint that read "hype" on a gray wall of a building
Image by Big Ed Mustapha / CC BY

Hype Is Short for Hypersexual

Hey there, I’m hype. That’s short for hypersexual.

You may be familiar with folks who are ace, which is short for asexual. Asexuality awareness has really taken off in recent years, which is a fantastic thing. In basic terms, people who are asexual have no sexual feelings or desire.  » Read more

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