Bisexuality, Islands of Desire, and Invisible Polyamory

an aerial view of a string of forested islands
Image by Lau Svensson / CC BY

Invisible Polyamory

Skyspook and I have been charting my polyamorous web chart for the second book (Update: it’s out!). A map of my current relationship system, with all of my partners’ partners and so on. Taken as a whole, it looks hopelessly complicated.

But it never feels that way. These days it’s a pretty stable system.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Proximity, Social Pressure, and Same Sex Erasure in Polyamorous Relationships

a picture of a park bench with the words "this seat taken" and a downward pointing arrow written on it
Image by JapanBlack / CC BY

Today’s guest post is from LH, a poly, kinky, queer lady, who identifies as a lesbian. She feels lucky to have found a primary partner who is sweet and loving and makes her feel valued, and a secondary partner whose steady support is a foundation for her. She has been challenged and grown a lot safely,  » Read more

Continue Reading

We Were All Charlie Howard: Growing Up a Queer Anyone in Maine

a hand with bluish-people ink stains on the fingers
Image by SamFowler / CC BY

With a new film treatment of It coming out this fall, I’m thinking about Charlie Howard again. Although queer kids from Maine don’t really stop thinking about him.

If you’ve read Stephen King’s It (or watched the miniseries from the 90’s), you may be familiar with the scene where teenagers throw a gay man into the river.  » Read more

Continue Reading

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary

A venn diagram up above a cityscape. One of the circles says "yes," the other says "no." The overlap between the two is labeled "me."
Image by Terminals & Gates / CC BY

Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.

While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.

Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist.  » Read more

Continue Reading