I’ve written quite a few times on this website about attachment styles. As I’ve written in those previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty), » Read more
There were no formerly heroic times, and there was no formerly pure generation. There is no one here but us chickens, and so it has always been: A people busy and powerful, knowledgeable, ambivalent, important, fearful, and self-aware; a people who scheme, promote, deceive, and conquer; who pray for their loved ones, and long to flee misery and skip death. » Read more
“Wow, that came out beautiful,” I said. “What glaze combo did you use?”
“You’re kidding, right?” the other potter replied.
“Ummm…. no,” I said. I laughed nervously.
She turned to her friend, started talking with him about everything that was “wrong” with her stunning dishes, pointedly ignoring me.
I sheepishly picked up my comparatively janky little beginner pieces. » Read more
I used to get so overwhelmed by anything I had to do that I’d freeze up. And instead of tackling what I needed to, I simply wouldn’t get anything done.
Just about every task seemed so big, so impossible. Because I’d try to work out the entire thing in my head before I even started. » Read more
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
That’s one of my favorite quotes.
They say to “fake it ’til you make it,” and while that smacks a lot of people the wrong way, » Read more
I’m sitting in my very first ceramics class. It’s an orientation to using the shared workspace. We’re not even making a project yet. That will come later, in subsequent classes.
This is a small seminar about clay. The kilns on site. How projects are stored. That sort of thing.
Later I’ll be glad for the handout I’m given, » Read more
“No matter what, you gotta find a way to love yourself,” she says. “Because self-love’s where it’s at. That’s where the real good stuff is.”
And yet every time I talk to her, she confesses that she’s unhappy with other people, in spite of nailing the self-love stuff. “I know I’m the shit,” » Read more
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spoken to someone who ventured out into brand new territory, found that they absolutely sucked at the new thing, and were devastated.
I’m here to tell you: It’s 100% normal to not instantly be great at something when you’re new to it.
Yes, » Read more
Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: I Still Do More Than My Fair Share, Just on a Smaller Scale
I’ve been having a fun time writing these essays about being a recovering people pleaser. Here are the first two I wrote.
11/25/2019 – Discovering Places Between Pushover and Pusher
11/29/2019 – I Didn’t Want to Change
In these articles, I’ve been talking about odd quirks that come with my history of people pleasing. » Read more
Yoda famously said to Luke Skywalker during Jedi training, “Do or do not, there is no try.”
But as much as I love the little green guy, all I seem to do is try.
So I find myself asking, “Am I nowhere? Am I nothing?” » Read more
“Trying” Can Mean a Few Different Things.