I never would have noticed on my own, but I hold my breath a lot. The only reason I know this is because my partner has been pointing out to me when I hold my breath.
He’ll typically do this by saying something like “breathe” or “stop holding your breath.”
And apparently it’s a lot. » Read more
Several years back, I woke up one morning feeling like my life was all wrong for me. It was a bit like I’d gone to sleep one size and woken up the next day having gained countless pounds but still wearing the same clothing I’d worn to bed.
It was my clothes (and my life), » Read more
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, » Read more
My anxiety has often functioned like a shot clock, especially in social situations. Instead of feeling like I had plenty of time to answer someone who asked me a question, I would instead feel pressure to react immediately.
And every millisecond that elapsed before I was able to respond pained me greatly. » Read more
For a long time, I always felt a lot of pressure to know all the answers. Whenever a question was asked, I was on it.
Life seemed like a quiz show, except the fabulous cash and prizes were the esteem of other people. Being viewed as someone who was smart, which back then to me meant “had all the answers.” » Read more
There’s always been a lot of pressure to express self-confidence a certain way, in grandiose inflated terms, something that goes a little like this:
“I know I’m terrific. Wonderful. The absolute best. No one and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”
But for me, it’s just not realistic. When I speak the words, » Read more
Talking it over with many of my friends, it seems that we all have one thing in common: We all get a lot of messages from people we don’t know. And especially messages that are fairly low content. Ones that are basically a greeting (and maybe a compliment) and nothing more:
“How are you doing this morning, » Read more
A few weeks ago, I posted an essay called “It’s Easy to Convince Yourself That an Opportunity Has Passed Forever, But That Doesn’t Mean You’re Right.”
In it, I write about about stumbling upon one of those DIY crystal-growing kits while I’m out shopping for presents and remembering how much I wanted one as a kid, » Read more
When we become adults, we start parenting ourselves.
And this can be good or bad, depending on what models you had for it.
I was at a bit of a disadvantage in this department, as the one model I’d had for parenting caused emotional paralysis.
I grew up in a strict authoritarian household. » Read more
“You know,” I say to Justin as we’re out shopping for presents, “I’ve always wanted one of those.”
It’s a kit that lets you grow your own crystals. On the box it says that it’s suitable for ages 10 and up.
“Probably sounds silly,” I say. “But yeah. Lusted after this kind of thing pretty hard when I was a kid.” » Read more