Can People Who Want to Change Their Attachment Style Do So?

a cat snuggling on a human's shoulder. The cat's eyes are closed, and they look quite content.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’ve written quite a few times on this website about attachment styles. As I’ve written in those previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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And They Lived Happily Ever After…

a frilly glittery tag that reads "Happily Ever After" lying on a glittery pink polka dot background
Image by GlitterandFrills / CC BY

There were no formerly heroic times, and there was no formerly pure generation. There is no one here but us chickens, and so it has always been: A people busy and powerful, knowledgeable, ambivalent, important, fearful, and self-aware; a people who scheme, promote, deceive, and conquer; who pray for their loved ones, and long to flee misery and skip death.  » Read more

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What You’re Doing When You Criticize Yourself In Front of Other People

a finger pointing towards the camera with a 1-star review behind it
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

“Wow, that came out beautiful,” I said. “What glaze combo did you use?”

“You’re kidding, right?” the other potter replied.

“Ummm…. no,” I said. I laughed nervously.

She turned to her friend, started talking with him about everything that was “wrong” with her stunning dishes, pointedly ignoring me.

I sheepishly picked up my comparatively janky little beginner pieces.  » Read more

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I’ve Learned to Be Agnostic About New Experiences

greenware cylinders on a drying shelf with a bucket of water nearby and some clay
Image by bptakoma / CC BY

I’m sitting in my very first ceramics class. It’s an orientation to using the shared workspace. We’re not even making a project yet. That will come later, in subsequent classes.

This is a small seminar about clay. The kilns on site. How projects are stored. That sort of thing.

Later I’ll be glad for the handout I’m given,  » Read more

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Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: I Still Do More Than My Fair Share, Just on a Smaller Scale

a brass sign on a door that says "packages"
Image by marc falardeau / CC BY

I’ve been having a fun time writing these essays about being a recovering people pleaser. Here are the first two I wrote.

11/25/2019 – Discovering Places Between Pushover and Pusher

11/29/2019 – I Didn’t Want to Change 

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In these articles, I’ve been talking about odd quirks that come with my history of people pleasing.  » Read more

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