If You Ever Want to Piss Someone Off, Tell Them They’re Not Trying

a young boy on a beach with a plastic shovel full of sand. his hand is thrown back and his eyes are closed as though he is trying very hard and expending a lot of effort
Image by popofatticus / CC BY

Unless what you’re trying to do is piss someone off or hurt their feelings, whatever you do, don’t tell them, “You didn’t even try.”

Because that’s not something you can possibly know.

Maybe you don’t like the results.

Maybe you’re dissatisfied.

And maybe you would have done a better job if you were in their shoes (but then again,  » Read more

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Emotional Ergonomics: There’s No Should. You Feel How You Feel.

a drawing of a cluttered desk. A stick figure person is bent over a laptop at an uncomfortable angle. The ergonomics are terrible.
Image by Kars Alfrink / CC BY

A core principle in the field of ergonomics is that a workstation should be designed with the user’s comfort in mind. The tools are laid out to serve the body. When we contort our bodies in an effort to match up with poorly aligned tools, productivity suffers. And repetitive strain injuries can follow.

When I worked for a large hospital system,  » Read more

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PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond

3 red buckets hanging on a wall, each bucket says "fire" on it
Image by Adele Prince / CC BY

PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)

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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory —  » Read more

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Godzilla vs. Mothra: Taking the Long View of Growth

photo of godzilla and mothra fighting in the city. Words over it read "I pause a moment / is this what I really want? / And I answer... 'yes.'"
Image Source by Samurai Frog

Becoming Godzilla

“I’m gonna train this son-of-a-bitch lizard brain to not take it personally when I’m rejected. From anything. Into the fire over and over until I stop feeling the burn. I might end up as Godzilla, and I’m perfectly cool with that,” I resolve angrily.

Skyspook laughs.

“What?” I ask.  » Read more

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