“I’m so upset I can’t think straight,” she says.
And I believe her. “Just take a second and breathe,” I say.
“I can breathe!” she says back. “I’m talking, aren’t I? If a person can talk, they can breathe.” Her words keep getting faster and more frantic seeming.
“I know,” » Read more
Polyamory is a compound of the Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]). So if you translate it into its constituent parts, it literally means “many loves.”
And that’s not such a bad way to think of it. I tend to translate it in my mind as “more love” » Read more
In 1964 a woman named Kitty Genovese was murdered in New York City, not far from where she lived at the time. In spite of the fact that there were ostensibly many neighbors in the vicinity who witnessed the attack, it was initially reported that no one came to her aid as she was stabbed to death. » Read more
I do so hate a fauxpology (i.e., fake apology). You know exactly what I’m talking about. When someone’s saying the words, “I”m sorry,” but you can tell they don’t really mean it. Either by tone of voice or stilted word use.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” with an eye roll.
Or something equally unimpressive like, » Read more
“You know what I haven’t seen in a long while?” I said to my friend.
“Scratch and sniff stickers,” I said. “They were all the rage when I was in a kid. I lusted after them so hard.”
“They totally make those,” my friend said.
“I know,” » Read more
Compersion has a semi-exalted status in polyamorous circles. Simply stated, compersion (also known as confelicity or mudita) is delight in the happiness of others — even when that happiness has little or nothing to do with you. When you get down to it, compersion is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations. » Read more
I’m sitting in the courtroom trying to pay careful attention to the questions the lawyers are asking my fellow potential jurors. I know it’s unlikely that I’ll even get to speak. I was called last in my pool. I’ll only be asked to actively participate in voir dire — the jury selection process whereby we’re questioned by both lawyers to determine how suitable we are to serve — » Read more
“If you’re not with us, you’re against us,” some folks like to say.
Ah, the old Us and Them. That age old story of human conflict. We’re awfully good at splitting ourselves into teams based on perceived similarity and difference and then kicking up a giant fuss about it.
Really, really good. » Read more
“Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you…The twenty-five percent is for error.”
You’re sitting in a class listening to a lecture. It’s a good discussion. You’re fairly engrossed. Time is passing pretty quickly.
All of a sudden, » Read more
It is really difficult for an organization to get honest feedback.
Whenever I talk about this (whether it’s part of a training or even at a research presentation), I’ll inevitably get someone who jumps in and argues with the premise almost immediately.
“Not from me,” they’ll say. “I let people know what I think.” » Read more