It’s one of the unfortunate realities of interpersonal communication: The way that you talk to people in healthy situations will cause major problems when you’re trying to talk to someone stuck in unhealthy dynamics. That’s because manipulative people with toxic personalities will hijack normal conversational maxims and norms and exploit them to their own ends. » Read more
If someone does a favor for you, you like them more, right?
But what about the person doing the favor for you? One would expect that you risk making that person feel put out, surely. Inconvenienced. And they might hold having done that favor against you.
But curiously, researchers have found that they don’t. » Read more
As I wrote in a previous post, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty), » Read more
There’s no way around it: Being ghosted sucks. Rejection can be difficult enough even under ideal circumstances. But add in the ambiguity of not hearing back from someone? The days or weeks of wondering if they’re just busy or freezing you out?
Well, it can hurt a whole lot worse. » Read more
Do you consider yourself a social chameleon? Or are you the kind of person who embodies the saying “what you see is what you get”?
It all depends on how much you self-monitor.
Self-monitoring is when people pay attention to their own behavior and modify it according to the particular social context they find themselves in. » Read more
People who can make fun of themselves have long been my favorite people. I’ve anecdotally found them to be much more confident and caring than people who only ever make fun of other people.
And making yourself the primary target of your humor makes sense for a few different reasons.
For starters, » Read more
Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or is it the case that nearer is dearer?
As someone who has been in more than a few long-distance relationships, I can tell you that longing for someone is real. And intense. So I would have been one to tell you that absence can be a powerful aphrodisiac. » Read more
When you’re trying to make a decision, how long do you explore alternatives? Are you okay with settling for “good enough” or does the idea of settling fill you with dread?
Some people have high standards and demand the absolute best. They want to make sure the new dishwasher they’ve selected is the top of the line, » Read more
You’d like to think if you were rich that you would do good things with the money. That you’d become a philanthropist, change the world. That you wouldn’t be one of those ole-timey villain millionaires (villainaires?) sitting atop a giant pile of money like a dragon hoarding a cache of gold coins.
Right? » Read more
Have you ever been talking to someone and suddenly find yourself wondering, “Why do you care so much about that?”
I definitely have. Some people will even say something like that aloud, causing much consternation from their conversation partner and sometimes even a bit of a verbal tussle.
The fact of the matter is that not all people are the same. » Read more