The Drunk and Sober Versions of You Have Different Memory Banks

a scuba diver under the water
Image by Heath Alseike / CC BY

“Things’ll fall together eventually,” I say. “Just gotta keep on… shit, how did you put it?”

He cocks his head in the way he does when he’s listening to the question but doesn’t know exactly what I’m asking him.

“I want to say ‘keep on grinding,’” I continue. “But I know you don’t like that expression.”  » Read more

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It’s Easy to Underestimate the Number of Pro-Polyamory Monogamous People Out There

a closeup of an abacus
Image by Anssi Koskinen / CC BY

The vast majority of people don’t worry much at all about getting into a car. Like a lot of other people, I myself have been known to do it multiple times in the same day. I’ve headed out to work, to the store, to home, and then later left go on a date before driving back home after.  » Read more

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“You’re So Cute I Just Wanna Eat You Up”

it's a 4-panel of a cute cartoon volcano. In the first panel, volcano is slightly smiling. Panel 2: they are smiling with their mouth in an upside down W and their eyes closed. In the third panel, they seem to be slightly alarmed as smoke flows out of them. In the fourth, they are blowing up with lava.
Image by Licenciada Cantinas / CC BY

Sometimes people say really weird things when they hold babies.

For starters, there’s nonsensical baby talk. Goo goos and gaa gaas. All that.

And then there are the observations grown adults will sometimes make that sound, well, frankly a little more hostile or angry than they do happy: “You’re so cute I want to eat you up.”   » Read more

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It’s Harder to Walk Away From Something That Isn’t Working Out When You’ve Already Invested A Lot In It

a black and white photo of a bride getting her makeup done by a professional
Image by Viktor-G / CC BY

If her doubts had started on her wedding day, I probably would have called them cold feet.

But they didn’t.

She started wanting to back out a full six months before the wedding.

“This sounds really serious,” I’d tell her. “What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?”  » Read more

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Locus of Control: Who’s Driving Your Life?

a gummy worm place atop a steering wheel, giving the illusion that it is driving
Image by Debs (ò‿ó)♪ / CC BY

When I first started dating, I was pretty clueless about what kind of person I should be seeking out. I was frankly pretty slapdash with regard to partner selection.

In the early days, I pretty much would date anyone who would have me. I looked at dating as a challenge where I needed to trick the other person into thinking I was their ideal partner until it was too late for them to change their mind about me —  » Read more

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Is It Really Impossible… Or Is It Learned Helplessness?

a depressed looking rhino behind cage bars
Image by Rob Oo / CC BY

These days, Martin Seligman is doing pretty uplifting work. A past president of the American Psychological Association, Seligman is often known as the father of positive psychology, a newer subspecialty that focuses on the positive aspects of human behavior: Striving, thriving, flourishing.

But his big break into psychological research wasn’t so rosy.

In his earliest days as a researcher,  » Read more

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