In 1964 a woman named Kitty Genovese was murdered in New York City, not far from where she lived at the time. In spite of the fact that there were ostensibly many neighbors in the vicinity who witnessed the attack, it was initially reported that no one came to her aid as she was stabbed to death. » Read more
Sorry Not Sorry, Forced Apologies Aren’t Helpful and Aren’t Fooling Anyone
I do so hate a fauxpology (i.e., fake apology). You know exactly what I’m talking about. When someone’s saying the words, “I”m sorry,” but you can tell they don’t really mean it. Either by tone of voice or stilted word use.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” with an eye roll.
Or something equally unimpressive like, » Read more
“Wow, I Literally Was Just Talking About This, and Now It’s Everywhere I Look”
“You know what I haven’t seen in a long while?” I said to my friend.
“What?”
“Scratch and sniff stickers,” I said. “They were all the rage when I was in a kid. I lusted after them so hard.”
“They totally make those,” my friend said.
“I know,” » Read more
We Tend to Think More About Tasks That Are Unfinished
Compersion has a semi-exalted status in polyamorous circles. Simply stated, compersion (also known as confelicity or mudita) is delight in the happiness of others — even when that happiness has little or nothing to do with you. When you get down to it, compersion is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations. » Read more
Many People Think They Are Fair While Only Seeing What They Want to See
I’m sitting in the courtroom trying to pay careful attention to the questions the lawyers are asking my fellow potential jurors. I know it’s unlikely that I’ll even get to speak. I was called last in my pool. I’ll only be asked to actively participate in voir dire — the jury selection process whereby we’re questioned by both lawyers to determine how suitable we are to serve — » Read more
Humans Are Awfully Good at Splitting Ourselves Into Teams & Kicking Up a Giant Fuss About It
“If you’re not with us, you’re against us,” some folks like to say.
Ah, the old Us and Them. That age old story of human conflict. We’re awfully good at splitting ourselves into teams based on perceived similarity and difference and then kicking up a giant fuss about it.
Really, really good. » Read more
Social Psychology’s Biggest Double Standard: The Fundamental Attribution Error
“Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you…The twenty-five percent is for error.”
-Linus Pauling
*
You’re sitting in a class listening to a lecture. It’s a good discussion. You’re fairly engrossed. Time is passing pretty quickly.
All of a sudden, » Read more
When People Tell You What They Think You Want to Hear
It is really difficult for an organization to get honest feedback.
Whenever I talk about this (whether it’s part of a training or even at a research presentation), I’ll inevitably get someone who jumps in and argues with the premise almost immediately.
“Not from me,” they’ll say. “I let people know what I think.” » Read more
When You’re Giving a Speech, You Don’t Look Nearly as Nervous as You Feel
Public speaking has always made me nervous.
This typically comes as a surprise to people, as I’ve done an awful lot of it in my life. I started pretty young, as a lector at my church. Later I would act in plays and compete in Lincoln-Douglas debate.
After I studied to become a psychological researcher, » Read more
When They Say Not to Do Something, We Want to Do It Even More
Have you ever had someone tell you not to do something — and all of a sudden, you really want to do it?
Maybe it’s something you hadn’t even thought about, at all, before. But now, the minute someone’s telling you not to do something, you’re fighting the urge to rebel and do it. » Read more