I recently featured a letter from someone concerned that their boyfriend might be conducting a secret affair based on their social media activity. After I featured that letter, I got a ton of response from readers weighing in on their thoughts.
Many of them were frankly surprised that someone could become so concerned based on their partner’s social media activity (in this specific case, » Read more
Very few social lives experience no conflict whatsoever. Chances are if you have enough friends are socially well connected enough you’ve run into a situation (or two or three) where someone has done something to offend someone else.
And once a social transgression has been made, it’s up to the parties involved to figure out how they want to make up — » Read more
“What’s the opposite of entitlement?” I asked my friends several years back. I put it out as an open question.
I wanted a word to explain how I often felt, like I didn’t deserve good things whenever they happened to me, even when I’d worked hard, earned them, sacrificed. I’d later go on to learn about impostor syndrome, » Read more
Happiness stems from within, we’re told. If you want to be happy, start with you. Be good to yourself first. Focus on self-care. Give yourself a little treat.
This is the kind of advice that sounds good and is easy to follow. And while it’s important not to skimp on self-care and let yourself run too far on empty a question naturally follows: Does taking care of yourself lead to happiness? » Read more
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, » Read more
It’s well known that dishonesty can be damaging to interpersonal relationships. When we find out someone has lied to us, it can be very difficult to trust them again.
But how about the other side of things? When someone has lied to us, even if no one discovers that they have lied, does the act carry consequences for them as well? » Read more
I’ve written quite a few times on this website about attachment styles. As I’ve written in those previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty), » Read more
Life is messy. Complicated. Human beings are imperfect, and even in good friendships and romantic relationships, there will come a time when one person will step on the other’s toes.
And after the person whose toe was stepped has dealt with the immediate pain and impact, they’ll often move to the question of intent. » Read more
I remember the first time I heard the term “secondary gain.”
I was transcribing charts for a large hospital system. I had recently transitioned to a floating role, where I had a primary hospital account I worked for but had been considered flexible and capable enough to work basically anywhere. To cover other people’s time off. » Read more
Many long-time readers of the blog know that I identify as a recovering people pleaser. It’s been a long road to recovery, bolstered by an excellent support system and a round of assertiveness therapy several years back.
Growing up under the thumb of a difficult mercurial parent, I learned early on how to anticipate her needs and accommodate them, » Read more