Misery Loves Company… In Real Life or Online

a coffee mug featuring the face of Eeyore, the depressed donkey character from Winnie the Pooh
Image by Ben Babcock / CC BY

She’s holding her phone, scrolling through Facebook. She groans at something she sees. “Guess it’s time to snooze their posts for a while again.”

Snooze is a feature she uses a lot, allowing her not to see content from the person in question for 30 days. She’s found it extraordinarily useful ever since Facebook implemented it.  » Read more

Continue Reading

The “Eyes” Have It: People Behave Better When They Feel Like They’re Being Watched

a photograph of a person holding binoculars and looking through them, they are facing the camera
Image by Chase Elliott Clark / CC BY

The other evening I was driving home from a class I was teaching, one that ended at about 9:00 at night. Even in the city, typically traffic is very light that time of day. Rush hour is long over, most people have returned from their dinners out, and the bar crowd hasn’t yet decided to turn in.  » Read more

Continue Reading

The Adorable Reason Long-Term Couples Resemble One Another

a black and white photo of an elderly couple
Image by Tony Alter / CC BY

As some of you may be aware, last weekend I posted the final installment of a long-running feature in Poly Land, the PQ series, in which I answered every single chapter end question in the book More than Two with its very own essay.

While it feels great to have accomplished the task I set out to tackle two years ago,  » Read more

Continue Reading

The Conscientious Polyamorist

a large and very neatly organized and labeled spice collection sitting on a kitchen counter. Two electrical outlets are visible above the spices. The bottom edge of what appears to be a wooden cabinet frames the top of the image.
Image by Lenore Edman / CC BY

A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.

Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:

  1. Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
  2. People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them

As the study authors wrote about the second point:

“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Are Open Relationships Less Sexually Satisfying or Is Dating?: An Alternate Hypothesis

a blue lightbulb
Image by Bill Smith / CC BY

Quartz recently published a piece called “Turns out open relationships aren’t the most sexually satisfying.”

As Cassie Werber writes in the article:

Opening up a relationship can be about more than sex. Advocates talk about the deep trust forged by letting one’s partner have other relationships,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Stigma, Funding, and Getting Off the Fringe: An Interview with Dr. Terri Conley

a small green brain embroidered on a circular canvas, sitting on a wooden table
Image by Hey Paul Studios / CC BY

If you’re an ethically nonmonogamous person and haven’t heard of Terri Conley, PhD, you’re missing out. Dr. Conley is “a social psychologist, a feminist, and a sex researcher, but not necessarily in that order.”

And Conley has arguably done more than any other person for establishing a sound scientific basis that polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy are a viable way to conduct relationships.  » Read more

Continue Reading