It’s widely acknowledged that most second marriages end in divorce – and while statistics predict that the majority of first marriages fail, the failure rate for first marriages is barely a majority with the percentage being just over half and the failure rate for second marriages being closer to two-thirds.
Though I ended up marrying Skyspook anyway, » Read more
Woo! As I posted earlier, I finished the first draft of my polyamory memoir last month. I’ve been waiting to work on the second draft of that book until the semester is over next week – in an effort to give myself time and distance away from the project so that I can edit it more objectively. » Read more
I mentioned in my last blog post, “Patient, Forget Thyself,” that the last book I finished, Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness, had multiple take-aways. The one I described in that entry was the distinction Seligman makes regarding gratification vs. pleasure and the integral part self-absorption plays in depression.
The other huge take-away for me was an introduction to relationship attachment styles. » Read more
Me: Two girls are always better than one, right? Isn’t that what guys want? The more girls, the better. X is always less than X + 1.
Skyspook: No, not in the case of negative infinity or positive infinity. » Read more
Though these days I’m only dating 1 fellow, I still get insane amounts of compersion (a.k.a mudita) off watching my polyamorous friends date each other.
At regular intervals, one or another of them will gush to me about a good date, a good conversation, a good fuck they’ve had, whatever, which lights up my chest like the world’s biggest Christmas tree. » Read more
Some days I walk through public places
and everyone recognizes me
and I wonder how they came to own that part of me—
their memory of me
“the reactionary,” Gino the Wise
“Ugh,” my mom said, frowning at my camera phone. » Read more
The first person I ever fell in love with was a straight girl. And when I say girl, I mean quite literally. We were 8 years old. She was my best friend.
Emma was painfully shy. Extremely intelligent, funny, and sweet but virtually silent in the classroom. I suppose it didn’t help that she had to wear headgear. » Read more
“I’ve never loved him because he was perfect. I love him because he’s interesting.”
This is something I remember feeling and expressing about a former love interest, brought up by working on the book. My feelings for him were intense, verging on (and some would say well past) the brink of absurdity.
That relationship was never even physically “consummated” » Read more
One of my best friends (activist, poet, essayist, musician, diversity scholar, and in general a lovely human being) wrote an EXCELLENT post about consent. I got permission to repost it here because it is well worth the read:
Consent Culture is Hard, Yo..
Consent Culture is Hard, Yo.
Posted on August 16, » Read more
“Both suffering for love and being addicted to a relationship are romanticized by our culture… Very few models exist of people relating as peers in healthy, mature, honest, nonmanipulative, and nonexploitative ways, probably for two reasons: First, in all honesty, such relationships in real life are fairly rare. Second, since the quality of emotional interplay in healthy relationships is often much subtler than the blatant drama of unhealthy relationships, » Read more