“That reminds me of someone I used to date who…”
I used to do this so often that Seth and Megan got so they could anticipate when it was about to happen. I’d get this look on my face, nostalgic with a little thrill, as though a memory had been sparked back to life. » Read more
It’s a painful kind of limbo, being extremely physically attracted to someone, all the while knowing if I actually had to be in a relationship with them, odds are I would be constructing a morning star from large unopened ravioli cans and wailing them in the head before the end of the first week. » Read more
Poly Question 1.5
How important is transparency to me? If I have more than one lover, am I happy with them knowing about each other? If they have other lovers, am I happy knowing them?
The importance of transparency for me is very context dependent.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Sucks
I could never have an ongoing romantic relationship with someone who would not meet Skyspook. » Read more
When I read More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, I found the end of chapter polyamory questions particularly thought-provoking. It occurred to me that I could probably write an essay for the blog on each one.
That is precisely what I aim to do. » Read more
“It’s funny,” I said, “My biggest poly freak outs weren’t about sex at all.”
In olden days, there was the epic tale of The Time Seth Lent Megan My Favorite Sweater Without Asking Me. I locked myself in the bedroom and denied him entry, stating that it was limited to “people who actually care about me.” Seth slipped notes under the door, » Read more
In the past, I’ve caught some heat — and more than my share of confused expressions — by my refusal to go scorched earth on people who have wronged me in some major way.
Granted, I have sought out a change in status when it made sense to — moving out, breaking up, » Read more
“Comparisons are odious.”
It all started when a friend reached out to me, asking if we could hang out soon.
I smiled, popped open my Google calendar, saw that Spooky had scheduled a zoo visit one morning with Sika, » Read more
It’s a funny thing… over the years, I have acted as a sounding board and supportive listener for a very large number of people. And I’ll admit it hasn’t always been easy – sometimes the timing is very inconvenient, sometimes you have empathy overload and feel an incredible amount of their pain, and sometimes you’re put in awkward spots where people have confided in you about each other, » Read more
Photo by donvix /CC BY
There’s a saying that was all the rage some time ago on my local scene: Never stick your dick in crazy.
Well, good luck with that.
Setting aside the glaringly obvious fact that most human beings are capable of erratic or irresponsible behavior at one time or another (seriously, » Read more
“What do you think? Do you want to get together?”
“Sure, that sounds great.”
Schedules are coordinated, the time is set, logistics set. Your place, theirs? Who’s driving? Going out or staying in or both?
Aaaaaaand we’re good.
Except it’s unclear whether it’s a hangout or a date. » Read more