Sexile/Pop-Tarts

box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts

It’s strange to admit this, but making plans to hang with a hot friend of mine, I realized that when it comes to partner selection that I put just about as much thought into what sort of metamour situation I could possibly be creating as to my level of interest in the person. It probably comes from being spectacularly webbed up in 2011 and the strain some of those metamour relationships put on me as a hinge,  » Read more

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Narrow Path to Security

“Insecurity invents its own evidence and supports its own premises. No amount of someone else’s time and effort is enough to make an insecure person see the light and realize that the insecurity is unfounded. He or she must intentionally and deliberately challenge, understand and then choose to move past the insecurity.”

-Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert,   » Read more

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Better Door Than a Window

white house iwth a green door and green window

Lately, I’ve been reading Franklin Veaux’s More Than Two, which along with The Ethical Slut is about the best reading  for an overview of polyamory and its attendant issues that one can do.

I’ve been a long-time reader of Veaux’s website as it came up as a resource on my very first Google searches of “polyamory” back in 2009 when Megan and Pete came out to our friend group as poly and introduced us all to the concept.  » Read more

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What They Don’t Tell You About Dating an Abused Person, Part 2 — “You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

a silhouette of a male superhero

“You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

I think or say this more often that I would like to. Usually it’s when I’m talking to my husband, and it always underscores to me that while I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years,  » Read more

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Ghost of a Chance

In the past, I’ve joked that my sexual orientation is “brilliant and haunted.”

All joking aside, there’s a lot of truth there. Granted, my body has to be attracted to their body. I have zero control over who I am and am not physically attracted to, and the best I’ve been able to manage on that front is to notice patterns.  » Read more

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