Photo by nathal / CC BY
I’m often asked by people newer to poly – how do I make sure I’m never jealous or uncomfortable?
The quick answer is that you don’t. When you dig into things, that’s pretty unsurprising. Anything that involves other people has the potential to have its uncomfortable moments (heck, » Read more
It’s strange to admit this, but making plans to hang with a hot friend of mine, I realized that when it comes to partner selection that I put just about as much thought into what sort of metamour situation I could possibly be creating as to my level of interest in the person. It probably comes from being spectacularly webbed up in 2011 and the strain some of those metamour relationships put on me as a hinge, » Read more
When I first dipped my toe into the polyamorous pool in 2009, it was to date our friend Megan with my husband Seth. Megan said she was a very low jealousy person and was not very emotional seeming in general. She was low on both positive and negative expressions in general, very even keel. » Read more
I’m a highly libidinous bisexual female.
I’m also deep and sensitive. I detest small talk (going to hairdressers is a kind of banal hell unless I find a quirky one). I can’t stand people I consider “career tourists,” that go through life on a very surface level, collecting unchallenging days, avoiding growth. Well, » Read more
I take criticism from other people very much to heart – perhaps too much to heart. Sadly, compliments tend to roll right off my back.
If someone gives me a compliment, especially if it’s very global and nonspecific such as, “You know, you’re a really wonderful person,” I immediately begin an investigation in my brain, » Read more
“Insecurity invents its own evidence and supports its own premises. No amount of someone else’s time and effort is enough to make an insecure person see the light and realize that the insecurity is unfounded. He or she must intentionally and deliberately challenge, understand and then choose to move past the insecurity.”
-Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, » Read more
Lately, I’ve been reading Franklin Veaux’s More Than Two, which along with The Ethical Slut is about the best reading for an overview of polyamory and its attendant issues that one can do.
I’ve been a long-time reader of Veaux’s website as it came up as a resource on my very first Google searches of “polyamory” back in 2009 when Megan and Pete came out to our friend group as poly and introduced us all to the concept. » Read more
“You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”
I think or say this more often that I would like to. Usually it’s when I’m talking to my husband, and it always underscores to me that while I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years, » Read more
I have been a polyamorist for the past 7 years. Over this period of time, the number of my relationships and who they were with have varied. I have a different primary partner today than I did in 2009. At one point, I was involved with 5 people (3 men, 2 women) at once, 3 of whom I considered primaries. » Read more
In the past, I’ve joked that my sexual orientation is “brilliant and haunted.”
All joking aside, there’s a lot of truth there. Granted, my body has to be attracted to their body. I have zero control over who I am and am not physically attracted to, and the best I’ve been able to manage on that front is to notice patterns. » Read more