Empathy and Self-Control Are Linked
The Atlantic recently did an exciting piece on a new study by Alexander Soutschek of the University of Zurich. The results demonstrate that empathy and self-control both originate from the same area of the brain, suggesting a link between them. As Ed Yong of The Atlantic writes:
Press your right index finger to the top of your right ear, » Read more
“You can have it.”
“No, it’s yours.”
“Just take it already.”
It’s a dance that Skyspook and I do. Each one deferring in turn, the politeness spinning into frustration spinning into rudeness. Our civil selves unravel.
“Alright. Fine,” one of us finally says. The concession to self-serving smooths everything over. » Read more
“Love may have to be left off the exam. Most of us will never learn.”
“Do You Really Love Me?”
“Do you really love me?” I ask Skyspook as we careen down the highway.
“Of course,” he replies.
“But what does love MEAN to you?” » Read more
He’s making fried chicken from scratch, dredging each piece. I catch his process out of the corner of my eye and wonder at how elaborate and gentle it is. He catches me looking, and I avert my gaze quickly.
“You’re so cute,” he says.
And I have no idea what he means by that, » Read more
I went through 2 poly openings of previously closed relationships, one in 2015 and one in 2009. They were very different in character. I’ve talked extensively (e.g., here, here, and here) about the differences that were brought about because I had different primaries each time, Seth in 2009 and Skyspook in 2015, » Read more
I always have a thing that I’m absolutely consumed with and can’t write about yet.
I can trace my life pretty well by sitting down and remembering each “unspeakable, unshareable” thing of the moment.
They’re a set of points on a timeline. A flipbook of still sketches. Each frame defined by what my secret was. » Read more
“It’s not fair,” they say. “They basically broke up with me out of nowhere. And now they won’t talk to me. I didn’t get my closure.”
It’s not just limited to people who are broken up with. Those who initiate breakups can also experience feelings of uncertainty and that nagging sense that there’s unfinished business. » Read more
There might very well be a reason all the red pill MRA folks are so angry. It would seem the strategy of negging, i.e., being mean and/or insulting to romantic partners in an attempt to manipulate their self-esteem in a coercive way? Well, it’s not only sleazy. It’s arguably ineffective. At least in the long term. » Read more
“I think Rob is more in love with the idea of having a girlfriend than actually in love with me,” I said.
I could hear Skyspook’s breathing change. This was dangerous territory. My words were my truth, sure, but they were also a kind of betrayal.
The funny thing about polyamory, » Read more
“Why are you here today?” the therapist asked me.
I stared into the cup of tea in my hands. Three people at the counseling center had asked me if I wanted something to drink, and by the third ask, I was starting to feel extremely rude turning them down. But truth was I didn’t want it. » Read more