One of the most important things they tell you when you’re getting lifeguard training?
Don’t get near a drowning person. Throw the life saver to them. The reason: Getting too close puts your own safety at risk.
As Esther Inglis-Arkell writes:
Drowning victims, especially adults, can be dangerous. » Read more
Skyspook Falls Through the Stairs
My phone buzzes on the desk. I scoop it up. It usually would have been in my cardigan pocket, but I’m off my game. Doing everything in the wrong order.
It’s a text from Skyspook. Be careful on the way home. People are being stupid on the road. » Read more
“What’s wrong, Pete?” I ask.
He’s staring at his phone with a far-away look. Like it’s done something to him. “Just a second,” he says. He gets up, grabs a beer from the fridge. “You want anything?”
“Sure,” I say.
He hands me one of those sissy flavored malt things that I love, » Read more
I think we’ve all been there. Sitting there, struggling over a particularly difficult problem. Pulling out our hair. Asking ourselves What the HELL are we going to do about this?
It feels like we’re making absolutely no progress.
And then we take a break. Do something else. Y’know. » Read more
PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory — » Read more
Polyamory is Harder for Reformed Cheaters
“Polyamory? That’s something that’s for reformed cheaters, right?”
And I want to say no when people say that, but it’s a great deal more complicated than that.
While there are plenty of people who become polyamorous without ever being physically unfaithful as monogamous people, there are others who did. » Read more
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
“Hey, we have to go,” she says.
“Uh huh,” he replies. “Just a minute.”
Kim spins around, a pained look on her face. » Read more
I Try Smiling
“You get what you expect,” the instructor says.
It’s my first day of community college. We’re sitting in a small room with desks that are at least 30 years old. Mine has vaguely letter-like shapes carved into it. What it says is illegible. It’s a pity, really. I want somewhere to put my eyes because my anxiety is in rare form. » Read more
How I Understand Couple Privilege, Despite Being Partnered
I met Angela the first day of kindergarten. She lived 3 stops down the road on my bus. But on our rural trucking route. No sidewalks. Speed limit of 45 miles per hour. Which meant people drove at least 60. No budget for cops to ticket anybody. » Read more
“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”
–Sara Pascoe, writer and stand-up comic
“So I know you’ve been asking for an open relationship for an awfully long time,” I said to him. » Read more