I take criticism from other people very much to heart – perhaps too much to heart. Sadly, compliments tend to roll right off my back.
If someone gives me a compliment, especially if it’s very global and nonspecific such as, “You know, you’re a really wonderful person,” I immediately begin an investigation in my brain, » Read more
“Insecurity invents its own evidence and supports its own premises. No amount of someone else’s time and effort is enough to make an insecure person see the light and realize that the insecurity is unfounded. He or she must intentionally and deliberately challenge, understand and then choose to move past the insecurity.”
-Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, » Read more
Lately, I’ve been reading Franklin Veaux’s More Than Two, which along with The Ethical Slut is about the best reading for an overview of polyamory and its attendant issues that one can do.
I’ve been a long-time reader of Veaux’s website as it came up as a resource on my very first Google searches of “polyamory” back in 2009 when Megan and Pete came out to our friend group as poly and introduced us all to the concept. » Read more
“You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”
I think or say this more often that I would like to. Usually it’s when I’m talking to my husband, and it always underscores to me that while I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years, » Read more
I have been a polyamorist for the past 7 years. Over this period of time, the number of my relationships and who they were with have varied. I have a different primary partner today than I did in 2009. At one point, I was involved with 5 people (3 men, 2 women) at once, 3 of whom I considered primaries. » Read more
In the past, I’ve joked that my sexual orientation is “brilliant and haunted.”
All joking aside, there’s a lot of truth there. Granted, my body has to be attracted to their body. I have zero control over who I am and am not physically attracted to, and the best I’ve been able to manage on that front is to notice patterns. » Read more
“We’re a package deal,” the profile reads. “My man and I come together or not at all.”
The package deal is so common that it’s a cliché. A couple opens up, advertises for that magical third person to join them, a third with no needs, fears, or insecurities of her own that will come in, » Read more
Photo by Antoine Bertier / CC BY
I was with my ex-husband Seth for 10 years, all told. The first 8 years we were monogamous, much to his growing chagrin. In a lot of ways, we were mismatched, and prior relationship experience was no exception. My own background of family instability meant I had to grow up fast. » Read more
My old therapist used to say, “You’re 100% responsible… for your 50%.”
I saw her primarily to get through my divorce. It was a brutal time for me, coping with the promise that I’d broken to myself, that I’d always be with Seth, through everything. The timing of the separation was also unfortunate, » Read more
2011: Michelle is waiting for me at the door as Skyspook pulls the car back out into the street to go to work. She rolls her eyes at me.
“If you’re not fucking him, then what the hell are you doing over there all night?”
I avert my eyes. “Sleeping, for one.”
“You sleep like shit,” she snaps. » Read more